Price of Conquest
by ccs4ever
Summary: An ordinary day begins for the members of ACROSS, the super secret Ideological Organization, it begins ordinarily but will end in bloodshed and horror, for what reason did this tragedy occur? And why did the perpetrator refer to Ilpallazzo as father?
1. Chapter One: End

Author's note: Hello everyone who write and who read Excel Saga Fanfiction, I was reading one of your excellent works when this idea suddenly popped in my head, I hope you enjoy it!

Disclaimer: I don't own Excel Saga, although Koshi Rikudo might say I do, I own my original characters, which there will be a few of and all their connected rights belong to me...

On a personal note I really really really need to know the name of the director of the Peace Assurance Agency thingy, its important to the next chapter, I could find it easily by looking at the episodes I have of the show, but I'm lazy in that regard...

P.S. I'm new to writing slapstick comedy, so there might not be much of it in there, I'm going to try my best to make parts of this zany and wacky as the show, but I am much more used to writing serious works with death and complexish plots soooo.... we'll see how this plays out in a Excel Saga fanfiction, I hope you enjoy...

P.P.S I really don't know weaponry... I am sorry....

This is perhaps the darkest thing I have ever written... but for those truly in love with despair, you may be disapointed...

Price of Conquest

Chapter One: End

Present Day, July 5, 2003

The sewers... pools of the discombobulated dregs of society jostling about in the containment of the sickly underbelly of modern city life. The dripping water and squealing of countless rats a constant reminder of ones close proximity to this wasteland of metropolis.

ACROSS, the super secret organization for the cleansing of evil and depravity and the domination of the world, lay within this cesspool but despite this remained unchanged. The gnawing rats could be heard as well as the dripping water, but these minor annoyances seemed distant and inconsequential in the awe inspiring presence of Lord Ilpalazzo...

"Hail Ilpalazzo-sama!"

"izo..."

The loud and energetic, and alternately near death voices of his two most loyal subjects greeted the great Lord Ilpalazzo. He gazed from a report in his hands, the light from the great chandelier above reflecting off his rimless glasses as his eyes came to rest on his two agents. He snapped the report shut casting it aside as he stood, his cloak jostled by the movement floated behind him as he came down a step from his throne.

"Wari-wari ACROSS, we will achieve total domination of the world so that it may be cleansed of all its inherent depravity..."

"Hail Ilpalazzo!"

"izo..."

A large screen cascaded down from the impossible heights of the ceiling. Lord Ilpalazzo's hand shot forward billowing out his cloak to reveal a small device in his hand.

"Oh! What is our mission today Ilpalazzo-sama!? Are we watching a movie? Or going swimming in a lake of ice water? Or climbing the heights of Mt. Everest? Or flying around in space? Or preventing the great takeover of the planet by Puchulikewhatchamecallits? Or standing in the way of worldwide Microsoft takeover? Or countering some blitzkrieg style offensive? Or going for a picnic? Or harnessing the power of linseed oil? Or traveling to the pyramids? I hear they are very nice, but too hot, Could we go swimming then because its hot? Or travel to the north pole? But then it would be too cold so we'd need jackets, Can we get some jackets? But I wouldn't need them now so we would need to eat curry... but wait if we ate curry we'd get all hot so we'd have to go to the north pole, can we go to the north pole? But then we'd need jackets..."

The chattering continued in and endless verbal loop for another five minutes before the orange haired ball of wiry energy finally collapsed to the ground, "anyways, Hail Ilpalazzo!" she finished breathing heavily, her face turning a fine magenta.

"Yes..." Ilpalazzo's gaze turned from Excel to Hyatt who stood this whole time, an amazing display of fortitude that he would be sure to note. "Hyatt, the mission of which I am about to assign you is of utmost importance..."

"hai... Ilpalazzo-sa"

The Lord of ACROSS sat back in his throne in thought, "hmm, she even managed to say my name almost fully..." he stared at the blue haired princess before him for a moment, "I'll have to remember this day..."

Excel looked from one to the other in complete jealousy, "Why is Ilpalazzo-sama staring at Ha-chan so much!" her mind plagued her with images of the two of them together... "No! Ilpalazzo-sama is my Ilpalazzo-sama!"

She stood from the ground, "Hail Ilpalazzo-sama! You care about me best don't you! Because I love you more than anything! Please say you care about me most! Then we can go on dates! To the mountains, and streams, and rivers of molten lava! And that cake place down the street! And then I can get a new dress thats all frilly and sparkly like this one!"

The young Excel surrounded in sparkly dream land prancing about in a multi-piece wedding dress of sorts. "What do you think of my dress Ilpalazzo-sama!" she smiled brightly staring at her beloved through the many sparkles and roses imagining her life together with him...

Ilpalazzo stood for his part staring out at his hyperactive employee, "Excel..."

"Hai Ilpalazzo-sama!" she returned to her spunky self in her semi-revealing coat/shirtish combo.

"You mentioned before that you wanted to go swimming..." a rope unrolled from the ceiling, it swayed back and forth casting long ominous shadows on the floor and walls. Excel stared back at his unwavering gaze, apparently without noticing the accursed rope that had been etched into her memory on so many occasions, "Hai Ilpalazzo-sama!" she responded cheerfully...

"Well then..." Ilpalazzo placed his hand on the rope preparing for the slight tug required in such circumstances as this. The chandelier above flashed red. Blaring sirens, jingling bells, whooping alarms, chiming chimes, clanging metal pans, and the stomping hooves of many large animals sounded in a calamity of noise that enveloped the large cavern that was apart of ACROSS. Lord Ilpalazzo took his hand from the rope as it slowly rose back into the indiscernible heights of the ceiling, "Perhaps later..."

"Bud" "Weise" "Er"

Ilpalazzo turned to see the three enormous bullfrogs standing in the corner, "Bud" "Weise" "Er" He continued to stare at them confidently.

"umm, Tzo-sama what are those for?"

"What's going on with all the sirens and noise and blaring? Is it a nuclear war? Are we going to be destroyed? Is my pizza ready? Oh no it's right here.. Oh! It's hot, hot, hot! Too hot!" The orange haired girl downed a gallon of water, "ahhh! That's much better, but why haven't those sirens stopped and what's with those frogs, Ilpalazzo-sama!"

Ilpalazzo held up his hand for silence as the frogs continued their eulogy, "Bud" Weise" "Er", "Bud" "Weise" "E.." Ilpalazzo's eyes shot open wide as a great alligator emerged from the shadows, consuming the poor creatures in a single gulp. Lord Ilpalazzo stood, readjusting his spectacles, "Excel, Hyatt..."

"Hai Ilpalazzo!"

"tzo..."

He billowed out his cloak, "It would appear we have an intruder, he has breached our first defensive line... investigate his whereabouts and terminate him"

"Hai Ilpalazzo!" Excel dashed from her spot dragging the pure white princess at high speed, "hai, Ilpalazzo-ma"

Ilpalazzo leaned back in his chair, he removed his spectacles placing them on an arm of his throne. He tented his hands, resting them on the bridge of his nose, "She is getting better at saying my name... perhaps one day she will make a better agent than I thought possible"

"This is my chance to prove to Ilpalazzo-sama that I am the one he should care about! Oh Ilpalazzo-sama! I'll kill the intruder and then you'll like me! And we'll be friends and then more than friends and then loveydovey together, hehehehehehehhehee! Hail Ilpalazzo-sama!" she giggled childishly as she dashed at 60mph or more through the dark channels and halls of the underground organization. Hyatt flew through the air behind her, held loosely by Excel, she banged against walls and the ground, waded through dust and water, squeezed through small pipes and channels. What was enough to kill a normal person did not kill Hyatt, although she was never bettered by anything that might help a normal person achieve a normal standard of health, so in that sense it was a draw.

"We're here!" Excel called, "Though I don't know where here is? It could be some kind of missile defense silo? Or maybe a nuclear supply dump? Or an ice cream parlor?"

Hyatt's arm appeared before her, covered in various amounts of blood, dust, and ooze. "don't think... was.. ice cream..."

"heh? Why not Ha-chan?" Excel asked curiously only to see Hyatt's hand point forward, "hmm?" she leaned in closer...closer...closer...

"Umph! Ow that hurt why did I fall to the ground, could it be a national conspiracy, or what the heck is that!" Excel stared forward from the ground to see a large sign before her, "ACROSS Anti Intruder Defense Control Room" she read from the large wooden planks. In a rare move of understanding possibly of a more serious mind that was hidden deep below the hyper exterior Excel's smile widened to an almost feral grin, "We're exactly where we are supposed to be Ha-chan..." she picked herself from the floor. Dragging Hyatt from the floor, she placed her on one of two chairs that sat before a group of large monitors and a console of glittering buttons, switches, and levers. Excel, being a naturally hyperenergetic person so much so that it hurts, seemed restrained as she stared up at the six monitors. They were each split into four smaller screens representing a dizzying array of security cameras strewn about the facility in a myriad of places.

"Excel-san"

Excel snapped out of her funk as the low tones of Hyatt's voice reached her ears. She turned her head to see her partner slumped over on a console that wrapped around her chair, "What is it Ha-chan?"

"mite..." she pointed at one of the center screens, in a mammoth effort she held her arm aloft while simultaneously pressing a small red button on her panel. In a flash the screen changed to that of an iron gate, broken into many pieces, the iron bars splayed outward in all directions. The screen flashed once more to reveal a fake wall, the screen flashed to reveal a blur of darkness, the wall was reduced to white powder in an instant. Excel watched as the dust cleared to reveal a figure standing in the darkness, "Who is that? What is he doing destroying our defenses?! Why did the camera just go all fuzzy! Ha-chan What's going on!"

The screen turned to a flurry of black and white specks before flashing to an empty channel, countless gallons of sewage flowed down into a great intake at the other end. A blur of darkness came storming through the hallway just before this camera was destroyed once more, Excel was close to pulling out her hair, "Ha-chan what's that! Something's coming through! What is that! Why are the pictures going away! What's with the fuzziness! I want Ice cream! Where is my ice cream!"

"Excel-san"

Excel bounded from her chair at the sound of Hyatt's inch from the grave tone, "What is it Ha-chan? Do you know what's going on? Do you have to use the bathroom? I don't know where it is, but it might be over there... or over there? Or there? But don't yet because you have to tell me what's going on!'

"Excel-san please...press...button..."

"heh?" Excel stared down at the console before her, "which button? This one? Or this one? Or this one?"

She began wildly pressing buttons, flipping switches, and in general causing calamity throughout the entire console, labeled WEAPONS.

Throughout the expansive sewer system the rats were in a state of chaos. Weapons in all shapes and sizes, forms and makes, models and types appeared. Disrupting their normal happy dark and dank existence were lasers, great flashing lights, and flamethrowers that sprouted from the very walls, ceilings, and floors that they had come to love. A man wearing black pants, shirt, and a great black cloak strode confidently through the abundance of noise, light, and fire. Four grenades launched from the ceiling, they landed just before him exploding in a torrent of fire and rusty nails...

Excel held Hyatt's head up as they both gazed at the great conflagration before the monitor. "We got him! I think he's dead! Now I can go back to Ilpalazzo-sama and he'll say I did a good job and we'll be friends and then more than friends and then!..."

"Excel-san..."

"What is it Ha-chan? We did get him right!? He's a bloody corpse on the ground right? God Rest his Soul! Why did I say that!? I'm not religious what do I care? Oh well I said it there is nothing I can do about that now! Hail Ilpalaz!...oh"

The orange haired girl stared through the darkness to see the figure walking calmly through the smoke, his cloak flapping wildly in the breeze, his feral smile glinting in the muzzle flash of the nearest M-16 as it was cut asunder, "Too easy..."

"Ahh! How could this be!? Why isn't he dead!? Ha-chan we have only one thing left to do!"

"Excel-san?" the eternally weak woman pulled her head from the console, gazing at her far more energetic companion,

"We have to use hand to hand combat!" Excel called out, "Suit up time!"

In a flash the young woman stood in the spotlight, she dashed through a large rack of armaments, guns, knives, bombs, lasers, explosive implements, precision equipment the likes of which the world had never before seen. She emerged with three M-16s and an AK47, the guns dangling from about her neck by the straps. Ammunition hung about her in long rolls, grenades dripped from all possible sides, a pistol hung from each hip, ankle, and arm. She grasped two of the M-16s and held them before her, testing the aim, she let them fall to her chest. She brought her hands to her face pushing back her hair into a ponytail, her face looked serious as two dark lines of paint ran across her cheeks.

Hyatt looked much the same except for the fact she was standing and holding a 9mm Glock.

Excel brought two of her M-16s to her hands, "Ha-chan, let's go!"

"Hai..." she nodded weakly before bringing the gun to eye level, she brought her other hand behind it and slowly drew back the bolt...

Before the clicking sound of the weapon even reached the outer halls Excel had dashed through them, "This is my chance to prove myself! With this Ilpalazzo-sama will like me and only me..."

They stopped outside a large entryway, the various weapons and explosions still rang throughout the sewers casting their ominous shadows about. Excel's gaze shifted nervously from one corner of the channel to the next, with a flash of flame and light, a large shadow appeared down a middle channel that flowed toward them. "Ha-chan! Over there..." the orange haired girl pointed to the middle channel, she turned to see her friend nodding in understanding, "wow, Ha-chan seems full of energy today..." she couldn't help but think as her gaze returned to the sewer before her.

They stared outward as a dark blur found its way to the end of an equally dark corridor, the dark aura that surrounded him dissipated. As they watched the figure casually walked from the end of the long expanse of sewer channel, drawing ever closer to them. "Who are you! What do you want with us? Do you want to destroy ACROSS? Or are you here to destroy us? Or just Hyatt? That wouldn't be so bad maybe... at least not hard... anyway who are you?!?" Excel called out to the darkness, the figure stood a few hundred feet away. From beneath the depths of the flowing sewage waters a long chain of lights cast their light down the long channel. The figure was revealed to be a boy in his mid teens, younger perhaps than Excel and Hyatt, wrapped in a long cloak, pants, and shirt all as black as the deepest night.

He raised his head opening a set of dazzling green eyes to stare at the pair before him, "Shie..." the words emerged from his feral smile, he dashed forward revealing a great sword from his cloak as it flapped in the wind.

"Alright Hyatt! It's time to prove ourselves..." Excel brought all four of the great assault weapons she carried forward... "Hail Ilpalazzo-sama!"

With that all four of the powerful weapons blasted forward at full auto, Excel was blasted back a few inches by their combined force, her expression was set forward at the mass of smoke and light that continued forward. The cloud stopped a few yards away as the last few bullets exited her weapons, she hurled them to the ground. She turned from the scene to see Hyatt standing stoically behind her, holding her pistol casually to her side, "I think we got him! Wai! Now Ilpalazzo-sama will congratulate me and then we will be..."

"Excel-san..."

"eh? Ha-chan why are you sounding so serious? Your usually sounding dead... or are dead... or perhaps both, can you really be dead and not? Perhaps zombies... Ah! I hate zombies..."

"Excel-san"

It was then that the orange haired girl noticed her hand pointing forward, she turned to see the man standing where the cloud once was, without a scratch on him...

"Ahh!" she screamed drawing two long Magnums from her hips, "Bakemono! Youkai! Ghost! Demon! Monster!" each phrase that signified some horrific creature of the unknown was poigniated by another shot from the immense pistols. She stared in fear as each bullet came an inch from the man's chest, before deflecting around erratically, into the walls, ceiling, and floor. The last one launched forth, only to crumple in midair an inch from the man, as if it had hit a brick wall. Excel continued to press the trigger, the magnums continuing to click as she kneeled on the floor with them. The man continued to advance slowly, drawing out his broad sword.

"I'm not done yet!" Excel called out, jumping back a few yards she pulled the pins from two of her grenades. She threw both as hard as she could at the man as he continued to walk forward. The grenades bounded forward, bouncing on the concrete walkway. They reached the man as he continued his casual stroll, his gaze widened as did his feral smile. In a swift motion he brought his left hand forward, easily batting away the first grenade. Before the second grenade came close a flash of dark aura surrounded him, the grenade stopped in midair before this barrier, it bounced back. Excel followed the grenade as it twirled in the air, it bounced once on the ground before landing in her hands...

"eh!?" before she could react the grenade exploded in her hands, she was fiercely knocked to the side wall, collapsing to the ground.

"Excel-san..." Hyatt called out as loudly as she could, barely getting her voice above a normal conversation level...

The man stood on the other side of the river of sewage that separated them, he closed his eyes, his short black hair whipping about wildly as if it were caught in a breeze. He floated a few inches from the ground as the dark aura that surrounded him grew in intensity, he flew past the sewage landing gracefully on the other side. His gaze turned to the young woman laying against a column that projected from the wall. Several cuts and bruises adorned her body as it writhed on the floor, achieving a kind of sitting position against the column. Excel stared out through her shining green eyes that had lost some of their shine, her body was racked with pain from what must have been numerous internal wounds. The man approached her casually staring at her through his dazzlingly green eyes, his expression uncaring of her current condition. He went down on one knee bringing his left hand to her chin, he lifted her head up to meet his eyes, "It's good to see you again Excel..." her ears twitched painfully at the sound of his voice, it was an indescribable mixture of apathy and amusement, a voice that could laugh whilst its owner committed unspeakable crimes...

She struggled to speak, she found it difficult to open her mouth, "I don't...know..you..ahhh!" she suddenly felt a great pain race through her body, touching every aspect of her being. She tried to struggle, to move, but every movement only seemed to increase the pain... the man stood over her, watching her agony until she finally settled down laying against the column, her face a mixture of sweat, tears, and blood. Her hair matted down before her, stained a kind of orange red by the blood that continued to trickle from numerous seen and unseen wounds.

The man brought his sword forward, "Of course you don't know me... but I know you, I know you better than you know yourself, which is why I do this..."

Without a second word he brought the broadsword forward. "Ahhhhh!" Excel screamed a bloodcurdling cry in agony as the weapon pierced her chest, and then lodged itself in the wall. His broad smile turned broader as he witnessed her body go limp against the stone.

"Shie!" the man turned just as a bullet flew past his right cheek, he saw Hyatt standing weakly before him. She held onto the Glock for dear life as it rattled and bounced about as the tremors ran through her arms and hands. Her face turned even paler as she pulled the trigger for a second time, the bullet flew harmlessly into a wall some yards away. The gun fell to the ground as her knees buckled beneath her.

"Hyatt..." the man walked casually forward, "do I really have to waste time killing you?"

Hyatt, the anemic alien princess with long blue hair, lay against the ground, "no...I..sup...not.."

She cried out feebly as a sword plunged through her neck. The man pulled the blood soaked weapon from her wiping it off with a flick in the other direction, "I just have to be sure you won't wake up again, Hyatt-san"

The man looked back at the young woman with orange hair, "I suppose you still have some life left to live... Excel, don't die until I see papa once more, give me at least that much..."

He smiled ferally, a dark laugh filled the sewers as he departed from the scene. Throughout the sewers life seemed to grow darker, as the blood streamed through it of two good hearted people...

Ilpalazzo-sama took his glasses from the throne where he had left them, "they have been gone too long... even for Excel this is embarrassing"

"If it is okasan you are looking for you won't have to wait long, otosan"

An unfamiliar voice rang through the cavernous throne room, Ilpalazzo didn't turn around, "You seem to have me confused with someone else, my name is Ilpalazzo-sama"

"Oh, I don't think I am mistaken, mainly because my name is Naraku Ilpalazzo"

Ilpalazzo turned swiftly, his cloak billowing in the sudden breeze, he held a revolver in both hands. He stared briefly into the bright green eyes of the boy who stood before him, "I do not know you, or how you managed to breach our defenses, but ACROSS will triumph..." he shot off two quick shots,

He witnessed the barrier of darkness appear around Naraku, the bullets swerved erratically to either side. The great Lord Ilpalazzo grit his teeth as he tossed the revolver to the ground.

Naraku smiled broadly as he stared at Ilpalazzo, "I know you don't know me, but get ready anyway!" he drew his broad sword dashing forward up the few stairs between him and his prey, "Shie!" he cried out as he brought his sword down...

**Clank! **The great wave of sound blasted through the great throne room as metal clashed against metal. Ilpalazzo stood, holding a great broadsword almost identical to that that Naraku wielded. His arms shook against the force of the attack, before he brought his arms forth with all his strength, knocking Naraku back...

The man stood a few yards from Ilpalazzo breathing heavily, "I see you have the kind of strength I would expect from a younger you..."

Ilpalazzo gazed down at the man, "you say strange things that make no sense to me, it will be a pleasure to rid myself of you..."

Naraku stared up at him before he buckled to the ground, "ah! I can feel it now... I guess Ma couldn't hold out... I can feel it... it's as if my whole life is disappearing before it ever was..."

Ilpalazzo stared at Naraku, as before his very eyes he seemed to crumple into insanity, he laughed insanely as he grasped his sword. He stared upward madly at Ilpalazzo, he lifted his left hand, Ilpalazzo could feel the sword wrench from his hand as it lodged itself in the wall behind him....

"One more thing to do now, one more thing!" Naraku raised from the ground, he launched himself forward at great speed. Ilpalazzo could feel the point bury itself within him, he lurched forward, blood trickling from his mouth as he struggled to breathe.

Naraku pushed his sword from him as he fell to the ground, he stared from the wound in his chest to the man who stared down at him. Blood dripped from his sword as he dropped it to the ground. He fell to the floor as tears fell down his face, "it's finally over... finally... all of you are dead, and my life can finally end!" his cries were followed by a peal of laughter that seemed to shake the whole world to its foundations. He lifted his gaze to the sky as the dark energy surrounded him, the darkness grew darker and more intense as it spread out beyond him, beyond the city, to the final expanses of the universe. All was consumed in darkness, and in the end all ceased to exist.

It is in this way that the story begins with its end. In time to come what has transpired here will come to be known, and the future, the past, and all that transpired to reach this point will be revealed for all to see...

---------------

Chapter One: End end

Very Very dark fic for me to write, but I hope you enjoyed it, I wrote this out of a whim within me, that started from reading an interesting fanfiction regarding the rape of Excel by Ilpalazzo.

I hope you all enjoyed it thusfar, I'm not sure whether I will continue it, I probably will... but no one can truthfully be sure what the future holds... anyway I should mention this involves the ExcelxIlpalazzo pairing, although it probably won't be rape...

anyways...

Next Up! Chapter Two: Mission Start


	2. Chapter Two: Mission Start

Author's note: I am planning on rewatching the series as soon as I get the dvds, or find some way of downloading the episodes I seem to have lost over the years... in any case I'm just going to be winging it as far as some of the plot points, few as there were, and as little as they are needed to perform actual storytelling... Names and character traits are the main things I need to remember and the fan sites I have seen just don't cut it exactly... So until then I hope you continue to enjoy the offering I have to give...

I checked a music video that I made of Excel Saga and found that it is very difficult to determine what Hyatt's eye color is, so at the risk of being beaten I am going to say preliminarily that it is amberish(amber)

The Price of Conquest

Chapter Two: Mission Start

July 5, 2003 Present Day...

"You mentioned before that you wanted to go swimming..." a rope unrolled from the ceiling, it swayed back and forth casting long ominous shadows on the floor and walls. Excel beamed at her great Lord Ilpalazzo with the kind of unwavering respect and loyalty that one might expect from a dog, or perhaps a porpoise. Reflecting more on the former than the latter a stream of drool gushed from her mouth as she stood in attention, her mind abuzz. "Ilpalazzo-sama actually remembered something I said! Lucky! Shiawase! Shiawase! Happiness! Joy! Rapture! This means he recognizes my existence! Happiness! Joy!..." her mind swirled in a great multitude of terms she both understood and did not, her mind having suffered a terrible accident some years before...

"Hai Ilpalazzo!" she brought forth all the swirling sentiment that bubbled and writhed within her and put them into that one exuberant statement, her eyes shimmering with hope and untold excitement. Ilpalazzo-sama brought down his hand in a mighty tug on the rope, "Well then swim..."

A chime sounded somewhere in the distance as the powerful doors swung open under the very feet that were at this particular moment attached to the unsuspecting Excel. The aforementioned orange haired ball of unnecessary exuberance hung momentarily in the air, her emerald gaze never once leaving her beloved Ilpalazzo-sama.

"Eh?" it was only when she felt a cool draft below her that her gaze drifted downward, her mind ceased its spinning of joy to prepare itself for an entirely different kind of spinning. Gravity seemed to have a hard time functioning correctly on this particular day, in an instantaneous moment Excel's gaze wandered upward to meet Ilpalazzo-sama's cold uncaring yellow eyes... _why?..._

One single thought crossed her mind at the moment their gaze met, but was soon drowned out by her scream of terror, "Here I go then!" she found herself screaming although her heart, for some reason, did not feel quite as in tune with those words as normal.

Ilpalazzo allowed the rope to slip through his fingers, the doors snapped shut with such finality that for a moment no sound could be heard. The mechanisms were so well crafted that even the seems upon which the two doors joined could not be seen by anyone who thought to look for them, perhaps even with knowledge of their location.

"Hyatt..."

The blue haired princess had allowed her gaze to wander, expending a small amount of energy to turn her head just enough so that it might gaze to where her sempai had just fallen once more. She averted her eyes from the spot, her pale expression turned slightly paler, "I can hear Excel-san down there..."

Even the thoughts of the near comatose woman seemed to travel at an even, steady, yet constantly weak thread. She concentrated on straightening out her stance as her gaze met Ilpalazzo-sama's once more... "hai Ilpalazzo-sam"

The Lord of ACROSS once more brought forth a small remote from within the folds of his gray cloak, "The mission of which you and Excel are about to undertake is of the utmost importance..."

"Are mission? Ilpalazzo-sa..."

"hai" with that simple word he pressed a small button inset into the very center of the square device. The screen which had remained in a state of readiness during the long wait for the inevitable expulsion of Excel now flared to life. Great volumes of data poured across it, names, places, times, and objectives, but throughout the most prominent feature was a large blown up image of a familiar face.

Ilpalazzo-sama stared at the same images as they floated by, allowing a moment for the magnitude of the operation to sink in. He could not help but feel a kind of apprehension and excitement flood through him... the face of an old friend, the face of his greatest nemesis to the conquest of F city, a face of oddly shaped blond hair and a great mustache...

Darkness... Yami... places through which not the slightest stream of light could be seen. Excel lay in a pool of some liquid best left undescribed, all around could be heard numerous sounds of splashing. The rats and assorted vermin scurried about through the waters and the concrete walkways, into the walls and further still. The young woman opened her eyes to peer through the great darkness surrounding her, she sat up placing a hand to her head. "Where am I?" she murmured groggily, the dank conditions of the great depths of the sewer system began to clear. Her vision and memory slowly returned to her with the brightening of her surroundings. A guttural growl came sharply from some unknown corner, "What is that? An alligator, or crocodile? Ah! Not again I have to run or call the hospital! Nah police is probably better... but then again..."

All the while Excel's ceaseless yammering aroused and captivated the senses of one great alligator. It moved in slowly, methodically, paddling through the ooze of the sewers, its shiny green scales atop its massive head glittered in a sudden shaft of light. Excel heard an abrupt splash behind her, she screamed in terror as the great alligator lunged at her. A loud **smack** reverberated throughout the sewers much the same as a wet towel slapping against bare skin.

Excel wobbled about frantically screaming muffled and incoherent words through alligator skin. In response the great beast, taller than Excel herself if the tail is included, wrapped its forearms and heindlegs around her tighter. She cried out as her foot came in contact with a small pebble, a sudden rush of water and the young woman came tumbling down into the ooze.

The sun shone high above a calm afternoon day, not a cloud could be seen in the sky. A soft wind blew from the west, ruffling the grasses and the leaves that hung loosely from the trees. The little shops of the ignorant masses stood open, wares of various kinds and prices hung about the wide sidewalks of F city. Pedestrians were walking from place to place along these great thoroughfares of the masses, many had their thoughts elsewhere, wondering about the tasks of the day, what they should buy at the grocery, who they should date come that fateful Saturday night. Male and female, black and white, young and old, all people of this city no matter their stature or race noticed the radiant beauty and friendly demeanor of a tall woman with deep amber eyes. She strolled calmly and carefully through the city, she waited a good time at a crossing for the little man at the other end to turn green. Many young men, with perhaps looser morals than pants, asked her if she wished them to relieve her of a large black violin case she seemed to be dragging through the city, although in fewer words. To which she declined waving a free hand about weakly, "It's alright I can manage..." she spoke weakly and methodically. Luckily for the young woman most of the hotheads of the city were turned off by her sudden hacking cough and subsequent hand soaked in blood. Those who stayed fearing for her safety, the good ones, dared not follow when she began walking slowly down the crosswalk. She had waited too long in disagreeing with the young men and the sign had long since turned to the unfavorable red. It is needless to say that as she crossed multiple cars whizzed by her in a blur. She was nearly knocked to the ground several times by the wind, and in an impressive display of bodily fortitude she attempted to mount the nearly impassable one inch step to the opposite sidewalk.

"One step..." she breathed heavily, a tiny stream of blood trickling from her mouth, she licked her lips, long since used to the coppery taste of blood she eased her muscles forward. With great care and meticulous planning each cell of muscle in her leg moving only just enough... she brought her leg up slowly and then brought it down. The soft tap against the warm concrete was the sound of victory, "halfway there..."

She picked up her left foot and slowly moved it up and forward just enough, **tap...** "Success..." a soft smile played across her face as the tiniest trace of color graced her cheeks. She continued down the sidewalk in her usual careful, almost blissful manner, smiling brightly to everyone that passed.

Hardly a ripple crossed the placid surface of a great pool of sewage. The rats who had witnessed many a great struggle here cautiously approached the edge of the small body of water. The tiny vermin's small beady eyes darted about as a bubble burst from the surface. This singular break in the surface brought forth a tiny ripple that spread throughout the pool, this disturbance in the water brought with it a great disturbance in the tiny creatures. They fled the scene in droves of raggedy fur as many more bubbles burst from beneath the watery sludge. Excel gasped as her body shot from the depths of the pool, her hand came crashing down upon the scaly head of her reptilian nemesis. It fell back into the water as she back flipped elegantly onto the concrete walkway, "V is for Victory!"

She called out into the sewers, her words reverberating through the slightly less dank atmosphere, her hand outstretched to form a gallant 'V' before her...

The mighty alligator stared up at her through its yellow slits, a low grumbling of acquiescence forming tiny bubbles by its snout. Excel laughed sheepishly, placing her hand behind her head, "You did well for an alligator Snappy! Maybe you should work out in a gym to get better! I don't think alligators can go to gyms, but maybe you can get a job to go to a gym... but then alligators can't get jobs, but then you can't find love!"

The young woman cried out in sadness and mourning, but then suddenly turned her back to the alligator, "oh well, see you later..."

The aforementioned alligator rolled on its back waving its small legs in farewell. Excel casually waved her hand before a sudden pain shot through her... "ah ahhhahha...ah!" she doubled over in pain, falling to the ground. One hand clenched her chest, her other hand clenching painfully toward a spot of light that had appeared before her in that instant. She closed her eyes, tears spilling from them, "Not now... please not yet..."

She pleaded over and over in her mind before the pain subsided. She stood once more, shakily, testing her balance on each foot. Her breath continued to come in gasps, her hands came to her face wiping away the damp trails her hot tears had formed. She stood for a minute composing herself, the pain subsiding back to a dark place within her where it remained in slumber. She beat a hand against her chest, "Yosha! Let's go enjoy the day!" she walked a few steps forward merrily singing some exuberant tune, it sounded hollow at first but then, like her smile, became more convincing with each step. It was then that the speck of light that she had seen before became brighter, the surroundings became clear enough that she could see without doubt a crude set of bars leading skyward...

Hyatt stood before a grandiose building, the warm rays of the sun shined brightly off its many windows and pristine limestone exterior. She held a small scrap of paper in a shaky hand, looking from it to a sign embedded in concrete that read, "Safety Assurance Agency Headquarters, if your safety is not assured than we are not doing our jobs... whatever they may be... perhaps you have the right to know what we do, and then again we have not the space on our sign... I will now recite to you the names of all those who have died in service of safety assurance..."

The sign was a truly massive structure nearly eight feet tall and five feet wide, it listed countless names... "I think this is right..."

Hyatt dragged the black violin case along as she made her way to the very center of a massive courtyard. Trees and palatial fields of manicured grass of the brightest green filled a large expanse of space, this was cut through by a path of concrete and tile that led outward to the building itself, upon which numerous marble stairs stood. Hyatt stared in awe and slight discomfort at the scene, "ma, so many big stairs..."

She instantly felt lightheaded as her gaze drove skyward to the top of the long flight, toward the set of large oak double doors. The little color that had managed to build in her cheeks vanished as the blood flowed in a series of sporadic coughing fits. The violin case fell on its side as she bent down over it, tiny spots of crimson formed on its lackluster polish as each cough brought forth a torrent of blood. She held back her hacking coughs of blood with one hand as the other braced against the hard tile.

Hyatt first heard a great clanking sound of something colliding with high force against metal and then...

"Exit confirmed!" the cheerful voice of her sempai blasted through the courtyard in the warm afternoon. She lifted herself back to a standing position, her hair still being played about by the wind generated from such an awesome blow as that poor sewer cover received. Her gaze first landed upon it, a great dent had been formed in the center with the clear impressions of someone's knuckles, bits of concrete and tile were strewn about the scene.

Excel stared out onto the scene, Hyatt was crouched some short distance away, blood dripping from her chin, similar spots on a large black violin case, and a gigantic building of white and shininess...

"Sempai..."

"Ha-chan!"

The orange haired woman shot from the confines of her sewer escape route, she had miraculously found some way of removing any evidence that she had ever been there. She ambled toward the tall princess, "Ha-chan! What are you dong here? How did you get here? What's in the violin case? Are you playing at a concert? Is the concert here? Oh! I love concerts! No I don't actually I can't sit through them much, I have to keep moving, keep talking, keep hyper, I'm hyper and happy and I'm glad to be alive! Every day is a new day and all life is to the fullest! What are you doing here Ha-chan?"

Hyatt waited patiently for her coworker to finish her usual flurry of statements and queries. She had crumpled to the ground and now seemed to have regained her strength somewhat, "We have a mission here..." she managed to get out calmly pointing at the great building that stood before her. Hyatt returned her gaze to her friend who looked as if she were in a sudden trance..."ano, Excel-san?"

"I understand now!" she exclaimed thrusting a triumphant arm into the air, "Ilpalazzo-sama gave Excel another way to get to our mission objective! That means... that means..."

A flashy image of the great Ilpalazzo appeared in the sky surrounded by sparkles. Orchestral music trumpeted from seemingly nowhere as sparrows and doves fluttered into action, accompanying the general scene.

"ano...sempai"

"eh? What is it Ha-chan? I'm just about to start a dramatic Broadway production with lots of lights and sounds and music and dancing and... wait to dance I need a nice looking dress thats all flowing and sparkly, like this one!"

A scene cut in from last chapter involving a similar dress that flirted about the young woman elegantly as she swirled about to the beat of the now waltz-like music.

"ano...sempai" Hyatt repeated from her seated position motioning an arm forwards. Excel slowed her incessant twirling and fluttering enough to gaze forward at the same white building they had been standing next to for nearly ten minutes now...

"ah, right..." she muttered snapping her fingers together, the music suddenly stopped retreating back to the darkened sound stage from which it had originated. She continued, "what is our mission Ha-chan? Are we going to play at an orchestra? But I don't have an instrument... where can I get an instrument? Does anyone have an instrument!" she called out to no one in particular before she felt a slight tug on her arm. Excel gazed down at the blue haired princess below her, she had managed to drag the large violin case beside her.

She said nothing at the moment, merely grasping the two metal clasps that held the case closed. The anemic woman slowly drew back the first clasp, an audible snapping sound was heard by the few onlookers who had decided to watch. She licked her lips as her fingers struggled against the polished metal, its shiny surface reflecting her determined amber gaze. The entire crowd held its breath as the whole case rattled with her effort, a small bead of sweat forming on her forehead she looked almost ready to collapse. The crowd released a combined sigh of relief as the familiar snapping sound filled their ears. Hyatt sat back, wiping the singular bead of sweat from her forehead, "phew, I think I need to lie down..."

With that she collapsed to the ground, blood seeping from her mouth. Those who had remained and those who arrived for the first time stood around the two agents in a great circle. "Ha-chan!" Excel cried running to her, she cradled her beloved friend's head in her hands, her blue curls turning a kind of purple from the blood that still poured from her, "No, Ha-chan don't die! Excel needs to know what the mission is!"

Remarkably enough Hyatt revived far quicker than usual on that day, the people stared as for an instant they could swear they felt a coldness surround her. A flash, Excel saw a kind of dark aura surrounding Hyatt's lifeless body. The orange haired woman's eyes widened for an instant, she struggled to say something, but felt her own voice constricted by something indescribable. A cold wind blew through the whole courtyard for a moment as Hyatt opened her eyes...

In the next instance the young alien princess was back in a sitting position, leaning against the black case for support, she yawned, "ahhh... that was a nice nap.." she yawned a few more times while Excel just stared at her, "Ha-chan..."

"hai sempai?" her amber gaze turned to meet her friends slightly troubled green orbs, she could swear she saw something in them that she had never seen before, serious thought. However in an instant the young woman had blinked and whatever had been in those eyes had disappeared completely, "Nevermind Ha-chan what is our mission!" she yelled out for all the world to hear enthusiastically.

Hyatt carefully sat up, she methodically tested each foot against the ground, holding her hands to the case for support. Excel watched this procession dully, it quickly bored her, so she decided to follow the path of a nearby sparrow, "Hey Sparrow-san! What's it like being a bird? How is the weather up there? It's probably cold... do you get cold? How about colds? I hate colds they last forever and you feel so terrible and you can't dance like this..." the young woman set about to twirling and prancing about merrily. The crowd that had gathered no longer cared to witness a beautiful woman standing up or an insane one prancing about so it had greatly thinned.

Excel finally finished her antics when the bird flew away, she stood waving at it tears brimming in her eyes, "bye Sparrow-san I hope we meet again!"

It was then that her attention shifted behind her, a sound of metal clanking against metal. "wah! Ha-chan what's that!?" she could never help but yell/ask ignorantly. Hyatt struggled to pull her body upward, a heavy metal tube slung over her shoulder. She straightened up an inch at a time until the full enormity of what she was carrying came to be seen...

"Now which way do I point this?" Hyatt shakily examined a small scrap of paper, looking from it to the large bazooka balanced expertly on her shoulder. Excel gawked at the size of the thing, it was a three foot silverish metal tube with a large tripod hanging below it, and an expensive scope attachment. Yes, this was truly a devastating work of military sophistication, "They should put an arrow on this..."

Hyatt angled the weapon slightly upward, her eye peering through the large scope at its top. Excel could do nothing but sit on the sidelines waving two "Hail Ilpalazzo" flags she had made herself out of hair and Menchi fur, that and wonder why she had never been given one of those things. Nevertheless she kept repeating her "Hail Ilpalazzo" mantra all the same. This of course alerted Uncle Sam, who was visiting, who then alerted Collen Powell, who was also visiting, who then alerted Micheal Moore, who was filming a documentary regarding the ineffectiveness of the agency, who then informed the most necessary to inform... Director Kabapu the imperial leader of the mighty and powerful, Safety Assurance Agency...

Far below the gathering cloud of men and machinery milling about above in the great building of safety was Hyatt. Her lips were pursed, her eyes narrowed through the scope, she prepared herself as best she could lining up the arrows of the sight, and then it happened. An instant of indecision, a hacking cough, a slight downswing of the arms, a rush of air, dust, and steam; a projectile launching forth at high speed from the powerful weapon.

Excel watched in awe as Hyatt was surrounded by an immense cloud of steam and dust. As the smoke cleared a gargantuan explosion rocked the entire city, "Ha-chan that was awesome!" the young woman cried as she dashed toward her friend, the smoke slowly clearing. As the last wisps of it disappeared into nothing Excel stopped before Hyatt's prone form. She had been blown forward by the blast, her grip had loosened on the bazooka some time ago leaving it rolling about on the hard ground.

Excel decided that Hyatt would wake up eventually and this was her perfect opportunity to examine the bazooka. She dashed for it, lifting the cylindrical tube into her hands just as the double doors of the pristine white building burst open. Dozens of unnamed faceless minions dressed in white and black filed out into the courtyard. Each held an impressive array of weaponry, mainly one big pump action shotgun that they continued to utilize every time they wanted to emphasize a point. Excel watched, still holding the bazooka, as the minions formed two single file lines facing each other. Down the center of this makeshift aisle came three minions similarly dressed in thick body armor. They carried between them a large wheeled chair upholstered in some comfortable looking red leather material, which they set down at the base of the stairs. They stood at attention beside it. Excel bristled at the familiar voice that emanated from it, "I have been expecting you, agents of ACROSS" the chair swiveled around slowly to reveal, insert dramatic Bondesque music, "It's you!" Excel cried out pointing an accusatory finger forth in a dramatic gesture causing the bazooka in her other hand to go flying in some random direction. A few moments passed, an ominous wind blew through the equally ominous scene, Excel scratched her head, "who are you?"

Every man, woman, and child in the scene instantly facefaulted and sweatdropped at the exact same time, Kabapu brought his full weight forth from his chair in an absolutely irate state, "You have come to destroy my organization and assassinate me, and you don't even know who I, the great Director Kabapu, Defender of Justice and Peace, am!?"

"Yeah! And you destroyed my Ropponmatsu factory!"

All eyes turned from the smoldering wreckage some distance away, and then back to the power rangeresque group off to the side, and then the wreckage, then to the guy in the red suit, then the wreckage, then Iwata. A deathly silence followed, Iwata stared around frantically searching for some escape, both Misaki and Ropponmatsu looked quite disturbed and angry. The young man gulped, racking his mind for some kind of escape he latched onto one last resort, "I mean the Hemp store!"

At this outburst the assorted minions grimaced in horror, they gazed beyond the courtyard and out to where the projectile had exploded, the smoldering crater that was once a busy store. Their much angered gazes returned to the one they had seen carrying the bazooka, "oh, that bitch is going down..." one minion murmured pumping his shotgun for emphasis, "Ayasugi-san!" further murmurs were interrupted by yet another cry from the sidelines, the minions turned to see Watanabe frantically trying to escape the grasp of the large yellow ranger to reach his beloved, who obviously had been captured by the insane and evil ACROSS agent who had stood carrying the bazooka moments before...

Sumiyoshi, the eternally calm, serene, Kansai subtitling bulk of a person held his love addled companion in a vice grip. "Ayasugi-san..." he cried out one final time before Sumiyoshi let him go, a few comforting words floated around him, "Stop trying to live your fantasy..."

"What do you mean Daimaru! I am merely concerned with the well being of a close friend..."

Sumiyoshi calmly pulled from some unknown place a thought bubble, its contents were very revealing...

"_Ayasugi-san! Ayasugi-san!" Watanabe dashed forward through a grassy field, the evil Excel brutally slain on the ground. "Watanabe-san! Watanabe-san!" Hyatt dashed forward through the same grassy field approaching her beloved. Her face a picture of innocent happiness, her cheeks a slight tint of red that accentuated her beauty. The two were only yards apart their hands outstretched, they were moments from that wondrous embrace..._

It was at that moment when the entire scene folded into nothing, Sumiyoshi stood before Watanabe, his hands pressed together. The remnants of Watanabe's smashed dream lay broken and dying on the ground. Excel turned to Hyatt as the sounds of Watanabe's unbridled tears came from off to the side, "ne, Hyatt what do we have to do here?"

Hyatt remained prone on the ground, she managed to lift her arm upward. She pointed first into the black violin case, and then to Kabapu, whose attentions had been driven elsewhere. Excel gazed into the case, she stared in wonder as she removed its only contents...

"Come on men! We have to defend the honor and integrity of our beloved organization and protect our beloved city from attack by these evil agents of darkness!" Kabapu felt a slight tug on his shirt sleeve, he turned to see a short minion dressed in black. He held out his pistol in both hands, he seemed to be crying into his gas mask, "sir, Terry got my gun all dirty"

Kabapu growled savagely, grasping the pistol he twirled it expertly in one hand before placing the muzzle squarely between the young cadet's eyes and firing. The soldier was blasted backward, a large welt forming on his forehead, "That is what you get for dishonoring the agency!" he cried out, blowing a wisp of smoke from the pistol, it was clearly loaded with rubber bullets.

"Prepare yourself Kabapu!"

The aforementioned leader of the Safety Assurance Agency turned to see the orange haired girl before him as if for the first time. Excel stood in a dramatic pose, her arm extended out brandishing a shiny platinum pistol of some variety. It's glossy exterior gleamed in the sunlight, "heh heh, I love it when the hero says that..."

At Kabapu's cry of alarm the nameless minions and power ranger like figures scrambled into action. The soldiers gathered into two lines in front of Kabapu, one crouching the other standing. Iwata, Watanabe, Ropponmatsu, Ropponmatsu-2, Misaki, and Sumiyoshi remained off to the side waiting for a moment when they should pop in comically, what could two girls do against two dozen shot gun carrying soldier types? Plenty...

The soldiers pumped their shotguns in unison, "Ready on the count of three men, ichi, ni, sa.."

"Matte!" Kabapu was startled by Excel's sudden interjection. The young woman took a few steps forward, approaching the soldiers. They pumped their shotguns again and again, each time one would call out a "stay back" or "don't come any closer" would be further emphasized by a quick action of the weaponry. Excel stopped a few yards from them tears welling in her eyes, she lowered the gun. She sniffed a couple of times standing there, between Hyatt and the mass of soldiers, "Please, we didn't come here to hurt anyone, we only came here on a mission to assassinate that guy..." she said woefully pointing to Kabapu. Many of the soldiers couldn't help but feel teary eyed, Excel continued, "Please, I beg you to let us do what we came here to do, because if we don't then Ilpalazzo-sama would be sad and angry and we won't be able to be friends and then I would never be able to express my undying love for him! Onegaishimasu!"

The ragtag group of soldiers were on the verge of tears, Excel quickly changed her tone, "if not for me than Ha-chan..." she added quickly gesticulating to her friend who had managed a siting position behind her... "nani?" she had apparently just awoken somewhat. The young woman stroked a hand through her stunning dark blue hair, it fell loosely about her shoulders, framing her charming face. She smiled at the group, a bright cheerful expression that seemed to radiate a kind of saintly glow. The men were entranced by the sparkles and dazed by her delicate beauty. They turned to one another, "well, I suppose we could just let them assassinate him alittle..."

"what are you talking about?! You can't just assassinate someone alittle... well maybe we could let them blow off like a leg or an arm, that wouldn't be so bad..." the minion had his eyes glued to Hyatt who remained seated, watching the whispering group serenely. Kabapu watched aghast as the whispering continued to fluctuate between the agents of ACROSS blowing off limbs, to somewhere around his crotch, to not letting them kill him, to letting him kill him but somehow bring him back to life such as the undead, it was utterly maddening. He was about to pull out a few revolvers and knock some sense into them when they stopped whispering... the group nodded in unison. Kabapu sighed slightly, "it's good to see that you men are back to normal, now... what are you doing!?"

Two soldiers grasped him on either side, the others milled around on either side clearing a path. Excel watched as the group formed a line, Kabapu held tightly in the center a few feet from his chair. One minion stepped from the far left, he approached Kabapu until he was a few feet from him, he turned to face Excel.

"Alright, after some careful thought we have decided that you can have one shot..."

"Have all you people gone insane!" Kabapu cried, he fought fiercely against his captors, "She's only ten yards away how do you expect her to miss!?" he pleaded feebly, the man who had approached turned to him, a large welt evident on his forehead, a dangerous gleam in his eye, "we don't..."

"traitors! Traitors to our city and this organization, I'll have you hanged!" Kabapu cried after the retreating man before turning his glare on the City Defenders, "I order you to save your commander!"

The group turned around looking to see to whom he could be talking, "I mean you, you power rangerish, sentai wearing bastards!" the aforementioned group turned back around, but still just stared blankely. Kabapu stared forward, his eyes bugging out as Excel brought her pistol forward, her arms perfectly straight, her aim flawless. "Ah! Help me! Please I beg you to help me! Ropponmatsu, Ropponmatsu2 I order you as servants of justice to save me!"

The two robots merely stared blankly, Ropponmatsu stood her arms folded, Ropponmatsu2 stood in a fair imitation of her, "Command not recognized, please rephrase..." they both chimed in a fair imitation of a computer speech.

Kabapu began to shake badly, "Then Matsuya I order you to help me! Save me from these people!"

The unnecessarily violent veteran of extreme combat remained silent for a moment. Ropponmatsu2 stared at her, silently wondering which way she would vote on this. "I'll accept your order on one condition..."

"Of course anything!" he cried desperately, Misaki smiled, "as long as you agree to cut your hair, and remove that ridiculous mustache your not fooling anyone..."

"Wai! Onesan! Your so cool!" Ropponmatsu2 leaped in her normal exuberant manner...

Kabapu stared from the officer to Excel, back to Misaki, Excel, Misaki, Excel, Misaki... he closed his eyes speaking in solemn tones, "I refuse, I will never disgrace myself in such a manner!" unfortunately for the attempt at seriousness in this particular scene Kabapu's mustache chose this moment to tilt...

Excel tried hard not to laugh at the utter comical nature of the man before her, his mustache tilted almost vertically, as a result her next words came out a little wrong, "hahahahahaha alright hahah I guess I'll hahah assassinate youhahaha nowhaha!" with that she brought her pistol forth, her eye screwed expertly before the sight. Her hands hardly seemed to shake even the slightest bit for a single instant, "sayonara..." in this moment the contrast seemed to go down as the shadows around her face grew darker her eyes seemed to glow much like a demon, "go to your death!"

A pull of the trigger, a shimmering plume of smoke, a burst of flame and light. Excel's gun went flying through the air, it twirled in a bright platinum blur before landing hard on the ground.

Nabeshin stood stoically, the cold breeze of the high altitude whipping his red coat around. He blew a puff of smoke from a cigarette before casually tossing the barely used carcinogen off the side of the immense building.

"You see Ishi-san its that simple" he casually placed a gleaming Berretta into his coat before he blew another puff of smoke from another cigarette that had somehow appeared in his hand, "I thought you tossed that off the roof..." The Great Will of the Microcosm floated next to him staring down at the scene below. Partly due to her will they could stand there and chat whilst the world below moved in slow motion, the bullet that Excel had managed to fire streaked through the air slowly, at this rate it would miss...

"I did..." Nabeshin answered coolly, scuffing his shoe slightly on the roof's edge, he blew another cloud of smoke, "cigarettes today only serve to accentuate the coolness factor of the one using them, its the only way the FCC would ever let them be used..."

"ah..." Ishi continued to stare worriedly as the scene slowly progressed, "What's wrong?" the Will of the Universe turned to see her friend's questioning glance, "it's probably nothing..." she turned her glance down to Excel, "it's probably nothing, but I feel that something big is about to happen, something we've never seen before..."

Nabeshin scoffed dryly, his cigarette hanging loosely from his mouth, "I doubt it, you, me, and Koshi control the show... nothing happens without one of us knowing..."

Ishi turned to him, "Your probably right..." although no one could really tell whether or not a faceless void was smiling, her voice was certainly smile-like... then it changed...

Nabeshin had began walking away coolly when he heard Ishi's startled scream, "Ishi? What's wrong?!"

Ishi pointed downward to the very scene that they both hoped would end in the status quo, Nabeshin stared to see...

Darkness...Yami... a place where not the slightest trace of light could be seen, in this place it was nearly that. A dark room, of such pitch blackness that nothing could be seen within beyond two red eyes that glowed maliciously. The dimness of the room made the figure behind those blood red eyes hard to determine, but what could easily be seen was what lied within them, an evil without end. A malicious terror that had no equal within this world or any other. It stood in this place of darkness, its laughter spread throughout the confines of the room as its eyes glowed brighter, a dark aura surrounded it, darker than the blackest pitch, deeper than the deepest night.

Nabeshin stared as the bullet suddenly straightened out its course, it began to move faster as time seemed to come from its lurch. "Ishi!" he cried turning to his companion, he gasped as he saw her. A blue aura had flared about her, it radiated an incredible power that Nabeshin had never seen before, "Haaaaaa!" Ishi cried out thrusting her arms forward. Nabeshin could do nothing but stare as the bullet was covered in a blue aura, it whizzed slightly off course once more..."Hahahahaha! You think you can stop me?!" Ishi felt a kind of pain rush through her as the aura around her weakened, the bullet began to swerve back on its homicidal course. Ishi let her arms droop to her sides, the blue aura around her withered to nothing, "Ishi, what?"

The bullet sped forward it was now seconds away from colliding with its intended target, a heavy black aura surrounded it, a malicious evil, a presence that she had felt before so long ago. The Great Will of the Microcosm clenched her fists at her sides, "You think you can stop me!" she mentally screamed at that evil which had infiltrated her mind, "Nobody stops me! Haaaaaaaa!" an immense blue aura surrounded her as she brought her feeble arms forward, "Nani!?' the voice within her mind called out in a fierce combination of anger and surprise, "You...won't.."

"HAAAA!" Ishi cried out in a kind of show of utter strength, Nabeshin watched as the dark aura bellow dissipated completely as a flood of blue replaced it. The bullet stopped an inch from Kabapu's false mustache, the great Kabapu stared in terror, "na..na.nani!" he cried forth as the bullet rocketed upward at great speed, knocking his beloved mustache to the ground. Nabeshin peered as best he could at the scene below, all he could see was a great blue blur rocketing towards him. With a deft movement he brought forth a fresh cigarette, he held it out a few inches from the rooftop. The bullet flew past at great speed, it continued to do so much the same until it collided with the moon some time later.

Ishi huffed and puffed from the great effort that that endeavor had caused her, she lifted her gaze from the scene below enough to see a lit cigarette before her. Nabeshin held out the cigarette in his hand, a miscalculation had however resulted in about half of it turning to ash... but in a way that was cool too...

"No thank you" she waved her hands about dismissively, "I don't smoke..."

"Since when?" Nabeshin asked curiously, tossing the cigarette carelessly to the side, Ishi laughed weakly, "since right now actually... I think I'm going to have to go see someone"

Nabeshin attempted to pry further, "ah? And who is this someone?" he asked casually awaiting her reply. The Great Will of the Universe showed no sign of embarrassment, only a great apprehension seemed to seep into her voice, "no one important, it's just..."

The Coolest Man in Anime walked casually away, a hand in his pocket upon which many cigarettes lay. His plane/car awaited him a short distance away on the roof and since it seemed like there was nothing more here to do... he stopped, "Ishi?"

He turned around looking frantically, "Ishi.. Ishi?...Ishi!" he called out her name a few times, but found no one there. He took one last drag of his cigarette, he tossed it to the ground, summarily stomping on it, his mind teeming with thoughts... Ishi had been talking to him and then suddenly her voice cut off, he had turned around and she was gone... "hmm..." he thought placing a hand behind his head, "something doesn't feel right about this..."

He turned from the scene deciding at that moment to take action, "Looks like it can't be avoided anymore..." he shuffled his feet a few times on the stone roof as he made his way slowly to his car... "I really wish it didn't have to come to this..."

In typical fashion the gall wing of his car opened just as he hopped in, a button was pressed on something and the wings spread out fully, the jet engines flaring to life. Also as part of tradition as he blasted from the roof, somewhere in the background a small scale model of the building and its surroundings exploded into flames...

Back on ground level Kabapu lay crumpled on the ground, he crawled around like an infant and cried like one too, "My mustache! Somebody help me find my mustache!"

Excel smiled sheepishly placing a hand behind her neck, "well, that was weird... oh well second shot!" she then noticed that her gun was no longer in her hands for the first time, "ah..." she stared over at the inoperable weapon at her side a bullet lodged in the barrel, "well, it was nice meeting all you faceless minions we have to go!" she cried grasping Hyatt by the arm as they dashed for the sewers, "wait Ayasugi-san!"

Hyatt merely waved weakly at Watanabe and the minions, some waved back, others gathered rope so that they could detain her, others gather flowers so that they could woo her, almost all hoped they could, well...

"Hentai..." Ropponmatsu2 chimed in from her steadfast position, latched onto Misaki-onesan's leg... in a rare showing of her soft interior Misaki stood petting her head, "hai, Ropponmatsu-chan those are perverts..." she pointed out more or less a broad arch, passing over Ropponmatsu and Somiyoshi, and staying a little longer than necessary on Iwata, "Ecchi..."

"Get them you idiots!" Kabapu yelled angrily from his crouched position on the ground, his desperate search for his beloved mustache seeming to occupy most of his time. One minion turned to the other, "how much is he paying us anyway?" the minion merely shrugged, "It's better to not ask, frankly for all the money he's probably worth I would be wasting money by shooting him..." To that the other minion nodded sagely as they both sat amongst the grasses picking weeds and wild flowers merrily in the radiant sunlight...

"I think I'm going to take a bath..." Misaki strode slowly back up the large marble stairs, "Wai! I get to take a bath with Onesan!" Ropponmatsu2 was apparently still attached to her onesan's leg... "Can I join you?" queried an overeager and underintelligent Iwata. A shot rang out through the afternoon sun, "oooooh, Iwa-chi died..."

----------------

Chapter Two: Mission Start end

Mission – Assasinate Kabapu failed

Mission – Conquer World not ever started yet...

Phew! It took some time to get this chapter together, honestly I had little idea of where I was going to go with most of it, but I think it turned out well in the end, although I think all will enjoy the next chapter even more...

On a side note, Kabapu seemed to turn out a lot more malevalent than I had thought he would be... well most of that was for the sake of comic releif, I mean what would any of us do when faced with certain death? But regardless he will probably mellow out a little more in later chapters...

I hope you enjoyed this and I should have you know that reviews are my life blood so please be kind and don't let me die... please?

Next up! Chapter Three: The Excel We Know...


	3. Chapter Three: The Excel We Know

Author's Note: I recently had a mangapiphany, as such I have come to know that the manga is a lot more serious and deep than the show itself, this has forced me to make some changes... but don't worry I have thought up some creative ways in which a clean transition between anime ultra silliness, and manga silliness can be achieved...

I hope you enjoy the ride!

Price of Conquest

Chapter Three: The Excel We Know...

A rush of wind, the sound of screeching tires, and a billowing of steam was what met the awaiting passengers, huddled together on the wide platform. All this was of course highly unusual considering that this was a bullet train, however to one distinct individual this was all routine. Amongst the travelers who milled about on the platform, gathering their luggage and families together for the journey, there was one individual who stood out in some fantastic way. He leaned against a support beam, casually lighting a cigarette from a minuscule lighter, he drew back his head against the beam. His long curls of brown hair acting as an impressively soft pillow, he gazed out into the waning light of the early evening, his brows knit, his brown eyes screwed in concentration. He could hear the sounds of the people around him, many had brought large amounts of luggage, others contented themselves by waving to their loved ones a fond "bon voyage..."

A few moments pass, the conductor pokes his head from one of the wagon doors, "All aboard who's goin' aboard!?' he calls out, his eyes scan the surroundings. He could see nothing but the French with their handkerchiefs, the English with their subtle courteous nods, the Germans, Dutch, Irish, and Scottish drinking their many beers and discussing about them. Further away there were the low brow Americans without the dignity or refinement to call themselves a people, standing there attempting to understand the situation, poor Americans their education system lacks so far behind the world, what are we to do?

The portly man drew his head from the door, his hand slowly drawing back the sliding doors. The man received quite a shock when a hand shot through the slight opening, holding back the door from being closed. The man stumbled back a moment as the door swung open, Nabeshin stood in the doorway his Lupinesque clothing and utility afro clearly visible for all to see and recognize. He held out a ticket, "Sorry for being late, I'm expecting someone..." he said cordially. The conductor looked at him strangely before roughly grabbing his ticket, crumpling it in his hands before stalking off, muttering something about passengers and their chronic lateness...

"I see you still enjoy being fashionably late, Shinichi-san"

Nabeshin recognized the voice instantly much to his disdain, "It helps sometimes..." he said turning to meet the gaze of the eternally glasses wearing mangaka. Koshi Rikudo was bent over a large pad of drawing paper, his hand working furiously over a few virgin pages. Nabeshin sat next to him on a booth that the two had come to using just on the particular occasions they would ever meet which, thankfully enough for both parties, were few. He stared out into space as the train began to slowly move forward, it was strange... strange that so many people brought so much luggage on a train that only went in circles around F city, well not really that strange to him, but to other people it probably was. Then he began hearing a tune that Koshi was singing, his pencil still flurrying across page after page of thick white paper...

_Rikudoh, Rikudoh, manga gaki _

_Never skipping on a job,_

_La La La Directors are the scum of the world, the failures of life,_

_Lu Lu Lu It doesn't matter if one dies. La La La_

Nabeshin bristled at the recital, remembering all to well the longstanding grudge Koshi maintained over that one incident. Although at least he didn't make him sing it four times... after about the eighth rendition Nabeshin finally put his foot down, "Rikudo!" he cried out grabbing the man's pencil in one quick motion. Koshi looked up at him for a moment as Nabeshin stood twirling the pencil deftly, his glasses gleamed, "yes, Shinichi-san?" he asked quietly another pencil materializing in his hand. Nabeshin sighed sitting back down to the wooden booth, he tossed the pencil to the side, "Aren't you at least a little bit interested in knowing why I called you out here?"

Koshi's pencil ceased its ceaseless doodling, he brought it to his side along with the notebook. He stood for a moment stretching out his arms, "yes actually, I was wondering what would dare bring two mortal enemies together again?"

Nabeshin scoffed, "mortal enemies? I would say more like people with creative differences, but that's beside the point..." he waited for Koshi to seat himself back down before continuing, "I have a feeling that things are beginning to happen that are beyond our control..."

It was Koshi's turn to scoff, "heh, you mean beyond your and Ishi's control, my work in this matter is done... I wouldn't have spent a good portion of my life creating this wacky world if I didn't think I could keep it from going totally insane" he finished dryly, picking up his pad of paper he began to draw once more. Nabeshin sighed again running a hand through his tangled tresses, "Should I remind you that complete insanity was at the base of this thing? You signed off on anything we put in front of you with that hot stamp of yours, so don't come to me saying you don't like how it turned out... we're running in uncharted territory here" he considered for a moment, "serious bits that you've never even seen before..."

Koshi raised an eyebrow, his pencil stopping momentarily, "what kinds of things?" he asked tentatively, Nabeshin seized this chance of serious discussion, "did you know about the assassination attempt on Kabapu today?"

"No, why is it important?"

"All I can say is if Ishi and I weren't there Kabapu would have died... what would we have done then? Find somebody new? Not very likely, it would up the serious factor by at least a dozen points.."

"That's why we ruled out permanent death in the beginning, that is why we have Ishi so you could go off with your little show killing as many people as you could, if anyone important to the continuation of the show dies, she'll be there to fix things and the hilarity would continue, you know this so why are you worrying?"

Nabeshin leaned back against the soft wood of the booth, a lit cigarette appearing in his hands. A contemplative sigh escaped his lips, "because..." he took a drag from his cigarette, "because, something strange happened to Ishi..." he said blowing a thin trail of the milky white smoke.

An audible snap met his ears, to him an almost comforting sound of a pencil tip snapping on paper, "what kind of something?"

Nabeshin turned his head to find his cohort staring back, a worried expression on his face. He removed the cigarette from his lips holding it casually in his right hand, "It was during the attempted assassination of Kabapu..." as he spoke the scene around them began to wave around as a flashback sequence of the scene before queued in, "Ishi and I were standing on the roof, watching the proceedings when the path of a bullet we managed to deflect began to change... it started heading toward Kabapu, I could feel... I could feel a strange presence, something cold, dark, I couldn't really describe it any further than that..." he stopped a moment allowing that to sink in. He continued at Koshi's nod, "anyway Ishi seemed even more affected by it than me, this aura surrounded her that I had never seen before, a light blue glow that felt more powerful than any reset she'd ever had to use before..."

He sighed heavily, a few moments pass before he continues, "Well, long story short, she managed to deflect the bullet away, Kabapu is alive and well... and then she seemed to change"

"Change? What kind of change?" Koshi interjected straightening out his thick glasses, the sunlight growing dimmer through the large windows behind them. During their conversation the train had started and stopped at various places, the occupants getting on and leaving as the case may have been, "its not something I can really describe, she seemed quieter, well she had been unusually quiet and concerned throughout the whole thing... but now much more so than I had probably ever seen her. She didn't want a cigarette for one and you know how much she usually smokes..."

Koshi nodded in agreement, "hai, I remember... although usually just after having illicit sex with Pedro, many times..." he sighed reveling in the nostalgia. Nabeshin carelessly tossed his cigarette to the ground, "well, right after that she said she might have to meet someone, I was heading back to the car so I wasn't looking, but her voice just cutoff partway through a sentence... I turned and she was gone... disappeared just like that" he snapped his fingers together for emphasis. Koshi, long since abandoning his drawing, leaned back against the booth in thought. The scene to anyone who may have been paying attention was quite comical, a Lupin cosplayer with a large afro sitting next to a small nerdy looking man with thick glasses, the two men casually leaning against a booth in what looked like deep contemplation.

The train stopped with a shuddering halt in some unknown station, smoke and steam once again obscuring most of the scenery. Nabeshin stood abruptly, pulling a fresh cigarette from his pocket, "Well, this is my stop..."

"Don't worry Shinichi-san or should I say Nabeshin as if it were fooling anyone, I am sure that Ishi-san will come back, bright, smoking, and ready to fix any major event that would require it..." Koshi straightened out his posture on the seat returning to his drawing.

"eh, I suppose..." Nabeshin reached for the door, one hand patting his pockets for his lighter, "ne Nabeshin..."

He turned facing Koshi, the cigarette dangling from his lips, "yeah?"

The mangaka paused a moment amidst flurries of illustration, "you did make me say all manga drawers deserve to die, right?"

Nabeshin scoffed, "keh, not this again, it was one joke..."

"where are you headed?"

"The Curry Bowl on 3rd, a friend needs my help..."

"There isn't a Curry Bowl on 3rd..."

Nabeshin was starting to get annoyed, "look, there is now alright... Can I get to the next scene now?"

Koshi smiled finishing the last line of his perfected drawing, "take care of yourself..."

Nabeshin couldn't help but notice the gleam in his rival's glasses but at this moment would rather be away than worry about it. He thrust open the door with one hand exiting the train with a dismissive, "hai, hai..." he closed his eyes searching through his pockets for that lighter of his. The first thing he felt that was wrong was the sudden unnatural dimness, and then the creaking of wood below his feet.

Nabeshin opened his eyes to find himself in the messiest apartment he had ever seen. Trash and assorted litter was strewn about haphazardly, the bed was covered in a mass of twisted dirty sheets and bandages. He felt a presence behind him, he turned his body forming a flawless martial arts stance, "excuse me... who are you?" Nabeshin stared blankly at a young woman, probably in her latter teens, she had short white hair and bright red eyes... Nabeshin was overcome with a sudden bout of insane laughter, "Oh Koshi you bastard... you're going down for this!" the words buzzed through his mind as he stormed beyond the door of the owner of the messiest room in anime, Ayanami Rei.

Darkness...Yami... it is to this place that Ishi opened her hypothetical eyes, "where am I?" she floated from the ground peering into the oppressive darkness. She felt a presence behind her, "Who's there?!" she turned quickly facing a pair of bright red eyes, "It's you..." she gasped her voice becoming quiet a kind of trembling quality to it.

The darkness filled with a kind of laughter that sent chills up her spine, it gave her the feeling of bemused apathy from the owner of that voice as if he delighted in the commission of horrid acts, "I'm surprised you remember me after so many years..." he chuckled derisively, "it really has been too long..."

Ishi stood her ground against the voice, "What are you planning to do this time?! Isn't it enough that you killed your brother! That you destroyed any happiness he might have had?! How could I forget that... It's why I came to this insane anime!" she screamed clenching her hands into fists, a tear rolled down her circular body, "it's why I came here to get away from it all... to forget"

The red eyes gleamed in the darkness, "well, I am very sorry for you and your loss..." his voice dripping with sarcasm, "but unlike you I happen to not care... and unfortunately for you still I cannot have you here mucking up my plans..." The figure's eyes shined brighter in the darkness as an aura surrounded him that made the whole room seem less dim, "shie..."

Tendrils of dark aura spread out through the room like a shadow, blacker than the blackest pitch, deeper than the deepest night. Ishi hovered in an obvious state of rage, her aura flashed about her of the deepest and brightest blue, "Your brother managed to seal you away, do you think you can beat me?! HAAAA!" her aura flared even brighter around her, its pure blue light dissipating the shadow as it came near. The figure merely snickered in the shadows, "I know you more than you know yourself, okasan..."

Ilpalazzo sat stoically in his throne, he had arrived some time ago and was currently deep in thought. He leaned back in his chair, his hands clasped before his face, spectacles resting against the soft satin material of the chair arm. He began to softly rub his temples as the thoughts within became stranger and stranger to him, centering on areas of his life he had long abandoned for the sake of his dreams of world conquest and social reform. The Lord of ACROSS sighed deeply as he rested his arms against the arms of his chair, he fondly caressed the blurry image of his spectacles recalling the many fond memories that arose around them... "This is ridiculous!" his anger rose sharply as the hand not clenching his treasured object to the point of fracture pounded against the chair arm.

"I, Ilpalazzo, do not..." his voice quieted, "I do not care... how can I?"

He sighed again falling back into the chair, a hand running down his bishoujo good looks exasperatedly, "It is for the betterment of the world... for the bright future of my dreams" he concluded finally, his voice solid and resolute, his eyes reflecting complete determination and stoic devotion. Ilpalazzo stood confidently as the sounds of approaching footsteps reached his ears, though within his cool exterior his heart was racing like the anime version of Excel on cocaine, or more universally that of a hummingbird.

"Ah! What a beautiful morning... isn't it Hyatt?"

"hai sempai, although it's noon..."

"heh, we would have been here earlier if Ha-chan hadn't died on the way home..."

"gomen nasai..."

"and then you were found by the paramedics again and caused more trouble for people..."

"gomen nasai, sempai..."

Excel turned to her coworker as they walked through the darkness, she seemed on the verge of tears, "ehhhheh daijobu Hyatt I'm used to it by now..." to this her companion instantly brightened, "arigato sempai..." a positive glow surrounded her perpetually white features, "it really means something to me that I'll always have someone to faint by..." a thin stream of blood flowing from her brightly smiling expression. Excel merely nodded lightly, "Of course Ha-chan where would I be going? I'll always be here" she immediately went into a dramatic pose thrusting her arms into the air, "because I will survive with my will! And that is the greatest thing of all!" to this Hyatt clapped her hands together weakly, "sugoi sempai"

"ahem..."

Excel broke from her dramatic pose at the voice that had emanated a short distance away in the great hall. The lights sprung to life as her gaze fell upon Ilpalazzo, "eh? Ah, Hail Ilpalazzo!"

"Hail... tzo"

Ilpalazzo stared as his loyal agents stood before him, Excel with her feet together and her arm held out, Hyatt in much the same posture except she had lowered her arm..

"Good afternoon, Excel-kun, Hyatt-kun..."

"Good afternoon, Ilpalazzo-sama" they both replied in unison each in their own alternatively soft and loud voices,

"What is the status of your mission?" Ilpalazzo queried as he sat back in his chair awaiting their response.

"we failed in our mission to assassinate Director Kabapu, Ilpalazzo-sama..."

"Gomen nasai! Ilpalazzo-sama we weren't able to complete your divine order! Oh I humbly wish you would except this humble Excel's humble apology!" Excel cried out, her body pressed flat against the ground in utter submission,

Ilpalazzo stood from his seat, "very well, I cannot say that this wasn't an unexpected occurrence..."

"Ilpalazzo-sama?" Hyatt stared at Ilpalazzo questioningly,

"I do not mean that your skills are any less admirable, quite the contrary I see this as a victory for our cause, one more step closer down the road toward victory!"

"Hail Ilpalazzo!" Excel picked herself up from the floor in exuberance over her first successful assignment...

"excuse me, but could you please clarify as to how a failure is a victory?" Hyatt asked her voice brimming with confusion,

Ilpalazzo cleared his throat, "I see our latest foray as a test of our opponents' strengths, it further emphasizes my original belief that we must work more slowly, to further probe our opponents' weaknesses... through patient planning and careful execution ACROSS will strike and achieve utter victory!"

"Hail Ilpalazzo!" the pair cried in unison, "Ilpalazzo-sama, what is our mission for today in furtherance of those careful and patient goals!"

Ilpalazzo stared dully at Excel for a moment, his eyes locked with her own as if deep within him he were deciding upon a course of action that would effect the entire course of history, and then he spoke, "In accordance with my new strategy, our illustrious organization will be taking the rest of the day off, perhaps more as the case may warrant..."

A momentary silence followed this announcement, "then, does that mean we are dismissed, Ilpalazzo-sama?"

Ilpalazzo shifted his gaze to Hyatt, a hand held out just over her chest, "not just yet... Is there somewhere urgent you need to be, Hyatt-kun?"

The blue haired princess shook her head lightly, "not really Ilpalazzo-sama, Excel-san and I do have a part time job this afternoon..."

"ah! I almost forgot that today was Saturday, our part time job at the sushi place! Gomen Hyatt, for that Excel will work extra hard today!" Excel raised her arm high into the air a positive radiance of energy surrounding her... "sugoi sempai" Hyatt clapped weakly,

"I have one final announcement, Excel-kun, Hyatt-kun..."

Excel immediately toned down her energy just slightly, "Hai Ilpalazzo! What is your last departing words for your loyal and devoted subjects!"

"As part of our new strategy to gather intelligence before such a strike, I need to know whether anyone amongst the minions surrounding Director Kabapu seemed familiar to you?"

Excel and Hyatt stood for a moment in thought, and during that one moment much was learned and said without words. A small gasp escaped Hyatt that went unnoticed by Ilpalazzo, she gazed over at Excel who seemed an instant away from a mental epiphany. Excel glanced over at her just before she was about to open her mouth to say something of utmost importance she had just recognized. The young orange haired woman turned from Hyatt's pleading amber eyes to Ilpalazzo-sama's analytical yellow gaze. She stood for a moment rubbing her head in confusion, "I don't think any of them looked familiar, they all just seemed like the kind of wimpy minions that you could easily push over in a fight if it were between the main character and some horrid villain..." she managed to get out in one breath. Ilpalazzo's gaze hovered on her a moment, his eyes seeming to burrow through her into her very soul. She emitted a soft sigh of relief as those knowing eyes and cold expression passed on to Hyatt, "what about you, Hyatt-kun?"

Hyatt shook her head weakly, "I don't think any of them were familiar... Ilpalazzo-sama"

Ilpalazzo's withering gaze stood for a moment on her, "are you sure?" he asked with a kind of knowing air that sent shivers down Hyatt's spine, "hai..." she managed to reply before she could stand to stare at that gaze no longer.

"very well then, Hyatt you are dismissed..."

Hyatt turned to Excel giving her a slightly devious smile to match Excel's curious expression. They both turned to leave, "matte, Excel-kun..." the orange haired girl turned at the sound of her name, "hai Ilpalazzo-sama?" she called cheerfully, although a confused expression still hung about her... "I have a few important matters to discuss with you in private..." he commented as he slowly traversed the few stairs between his throne and the rest of the great hall. For a moment Excel's heart beat faster as her anticipation grew sharply, "Could this mean..." she thought dully as a myriad of possibilities flowed through her head. She glanced back at Hyatt who had already walked a few paces away, but she merely flashed her a reassuring smile, "Don't worry Excel-san, I can manage until you return..."

"Alright then! Just be careful about collapsing on the street and causing numerous troubles for innocent people..."

The woman merely waved back warmly before exiting through a small passageway. Excel turned from her to Ilpalazzo-sama who was rummaging through the folds of his cloak, "Is something wrong, Ilpalazzo-sama?" she asked worriedly after he had spent more than a minute searching through the innumerable secret pockets. Ilpalazzo didn't answer for another minute when, with a grunt of satisfaction, he produced a cell phone from somewhere deep within the recesses of the gray mass, "I had intended to give Hyatt-kun this..." he said indicating the small, shiny, and red object in his hand, "but it would seem I remembered of it too late..."

"I'll give it to her!" Excel chimed in cheerfully grabbing the tiny phone from his outstretched hand, "it wouldn't be too much difficulty since we live in the same apartment..."

Ilpalazzo stared momentarily at Excel's eager expression as she stuffed the small piece of equipment securely into some inconspicuous pocket of her attire. His gaze shifted quickly as her attentions returned to him, glancing at the empty gloved hand upon which the phone had once resided, "Is there something that you wanted to speak to me about, Ilpalazzo-sama?"

Ilpalazzo returned his hand to his side as he faced Excel for once on an equal footing, the rope remained out of reach... he cleared his throat uncomfortably, "Excuse me a moment, Excel-kun"

"ah, hai..." Excel stood, a confused expression plastered on her face, as Ilpalazzo swiftly departed. His broad cloak trailing behind him as he mounted the stairs, walking beyond his throne he thrust aside the heavy red curtains. As he stepped through the threshold, allowing the curtain to fall lazily behind him, he paused a moment staring down the long dark passageway suddenly cut off from the bright light of the chandelier.

His eyes slowly adjusted to the growing dim as he made his way down a lengthy corridor assisted, at least partly, by a few scant torches that somehow remained lit. Their light shimmering and shifting cast long ominous shadows along the length of the narrow passageway. Ilpalazzo grasped the handle of one such torch as he made his way into a kind of cul de sac at the end of the tunnel, a circular room filled with many doors.

He walked a straight path through the room stopping at a heavy wooden door. From within some hidden pocket he withdrew a key, its shiny silver exterior gleamed in the flickering light of the torch. Without hesitation Ilpalazzo inserted the key into a large hole above the knob, with a heavy click the bolt was drew back. One hand clutched the knob while the other, tossing the dying torch carelessly to the side, drew back a small metal pin. The door opened slowly of its own accord, Ilpalazzo's tight grip on the handle preventing it from knocking him over, revealing a room of utter darkness.

The Lord of ACROSS stared within its imperceptible depths, his gaze fixing squarely on a pair of gleaming red eyes that seemed to float upon a sea of darkness, unattached to any form or shape.

Ilpalazzo took a commanding few steps within the oppressive darkness before a familiar apathetic voice met his ears, "What a pleasant surprise Ilpalazzo-sama, I wasn't expecting you of all people to come visit me..."

"I wanted to ask you something..."

"Oh really...?" the creature's voice brimming with the same kind of bemused apathy, "what sort of something would you wish to inquire of me?"

Ilpalazzo tried his best to maintain his poker faced facade as his insides squirmed about him, his eyes narrowed, "Are you sure...?"

"That she is the one?" the glowing red eyes finished for him, "yes, I am quite sure that she is the one to give you what you want" he paused a moment, "if world conquest is still what you want most of all..."

"Of course! There is no future for the world unless it is cleansed by domination..." Ilpalazzo stared determinedly into the void as it stared determinedly back. The red eyes narrowed, "Very well then, go..."

Ilpalazzo turned coolly on his heels, in swift strides he made his way from the abominable darkness, "oh, and Ilpalazzo-sama..."

He turned, his feet just gracing the threshold, "hai?" he stared coolly once more into the devilish eyes, "try not to do anything that would reasonably result in Excel-san's death, at least not yet..."

Ilpalazzo's eyes narrowed, "Why would you mention something like that? I have never..."

"Just be sure not to, for your own sake..."

Ilpalazzo said nothing as the door slowly began to close behind him, the slight noise of it resting against its supports, and the clicking of the lock. The red eyes filled with amusement as the door slammed shut before it, "Oh, wouldn't you like to know..." a malevolent laughter filled the dark recesses of the dank surroundings. The creature slowly lifted its foot from the ground revealing a tiny blue shard, the last ember of blue aura glowing brightly through the abyss. With a great sound the object was smashed into thousands tiny pieces that quickly dissolved into nothing, "wouldn't you like to know..."

"I wonder what Ilpalazzo-sama wants to talk to me about..." Excel awaited her master's return in as patient a manner as possible. Her head proceeded to loll from side to side, a thin stream of drool running down her chin, "I wonder...heh...hehheheh"

Her mind was still ambling through the gutter when the thick red curtains were again pushed aside... Excel immediately stood in attention, "Hail Ilpalazzo! What did you want to speak to me about?"

Ilpalazzo stared at her a moment before sighing lightly. As Excel gawked he began removing his cloak and shoulder guards, depositing the enormous garment on the throne with a loud rush of air. Next came his overcoat, which Ilpalazzo deftly removed placing it in a neat folded pile on top of his cloak. Excel felt a rush of heat, her cheeks flushing a brilliant scarlet, "what..whatwhathaht are you doing Ilpalazzo-sama!?" she stood shakily facing him as he ignored her. He quickly removed his gloves and, with great care, the circlet that hung about his forehead. After placing these objects gently over his other clothes he turned to Excel dressed in a black undershirt and pants, needless to say she was feeling just a bit uncomfortable. "nannananna nani Ilpalazzo-sama what are you...?!" she stuttered as he walked slowly down the few stairs that separated them, she felt a kind of strange affirmation of her previous thoughts in the silence that followed. "Yah! Ilpalazzo-sama we really shouldn't do this kind of thing or that kind of thing here..." she stammered turning her head away, the blush becoming so intense she was beginning to feel lightheaded, "it's not that I don't want to it's just that here isn't exactly the best place for this kind of thing or that kind of thing and if it were then I would happily do this kind of thing or that kind of thing or any kind of thing with you Ilpalazzo-sama because I lo..." she stammered on uncontrollably as the footsteps approached, she gasped slightly as she felt a comforting hand on her shoulder, or at least that is what her mind perceived it to be while steam poured from her ears...

She turned to face him, her shimmering green eyes staring upward into his set yellow gaze, "ah..I..." she felt so utterly bashful at that moment, her mind or what was left of it berated her, "You love him more than anything in the whole world! You are his loyal servant who would do anything for him! Is this much more different than dying!" a moment passed. Excel felt his reassuring hand leave her shoulder as their gaze never left each other, "how does that thought make any sense...?' I haven't died... but I suppose I would if I needed too..." the mental quiery helped a little in her rush of emotions, the blush that had creeped up so suddenly was beginning to die away as the two stood only a few feet apart... "Excel-kun..." she heard him say in his usual authoritative tone.

"hai..." was the only response she could manage at that moment, "excuse me a moment..."

Ilpalazzo swiftly turned around as Excel completely collapsed to the ground, her heart racing a mile a minute, like a hummingbird. Ilpalazzo raced up the stairs arriving swiftly at his beloved throne. He was about to pass by it and enter the dark recesses of what lay beyond the red mass of curtains when he suddenly collapsed, grasping an arm of the chair for support. "ahhh!" he groaned in pain as his knees buckled sending him crashing to the ground. The landing however was averted, he felt a strong pair of arms grasping his free hand, keeping him from slamming against the ground, "Are you alright Ilpalazzo-sama!" he heard Excel call him through a mental haze, it sounded like someone with a much louder voice was screaming obscenities from within a deep smog. Ilpalazzo managed a sitting position with the help of Excel, the hand that had tried to hold him back now gingerly massaged his forehead, all around him things seemed to be swirling... "Are you alright Ilpalazzo-sama!?"

He turned to see her standing over him, her hands unknowingly still clasped around his. When she followed his gaze she immediately let go off him shrieking, "I'm sorry Ilpalazzo-sama I touched your eminence without permission, I am truly sorry!" she bowed deeply and repeatedly. "Thank you, Excel-kun... you did well" he responded to her as he rose, his vision and mind clearing from the sudden attack, he walked a few paces around his chair to be sure his faculties were again under his control before turning to see an elated Excel. "Thank you for your kind words Ilpalazzo-sama! Excel will always try to live up to your highest expectations!" inside however her mind was reeling through an orgy of "He thanked me! He praised me! Oh joy and rapture and happiness!"

A cycle that only stopped when she heard him utter the following phrase, "Excel-kun, would you like to go have lunch?"

"heh...?" she uttered flabbergasted, "It is around noon anyway and I just assumed that this was the time in which you usually ate..."

"eating...?" Excel replied dully before suddenly snapping to life, "Oh Ilpalazzo-sama! It would be my utmost and long awaited joy to go eat something with you! Excel hasn't eaten anything other than moldy noodles and shoe laces for some time now! And though she is not complaining over a lack of salary it would be nice to have a change of pace which you are so kind to provide! Hail Ilpalazzo-sama!"

She walked beside Ilpalazzo as he descended the first step from his throne, he seemed to be attempting to grasp something... "ano, what are you doing Ilpalazzo-sama?"

The Lord of ACROSS stared back at his chair longingly and then to his hand still deftly attempting to pull something from nothing, "It isn't important..." his voice sounded slightly forlorn, but that aspect was completely lost on Excel whose mind was quite preoccupied with a loud rendition of, "I'm going on a date with Ilpalazzo-sama! I'm going on a date with Ilpalazzo-sama!" over and over and over again...

The two made a striking pair as they made their way into the afternoon sun. Ilpalazzo, the tall, cold, and calculating Lord of ACROSS, and Excel the active, high spirited, short animaphilliac. The contrast was indeed striking, the two seemed to share nothing at all in common... Excel ran out ahead, her feet clacking against the many soft stones of the bank. The wind blew softly through the channel, the high walls of the aqueduct whipping it into a cool breeze that disturbed the placid waters and ruffled Excel's uniform. The young woman breathed in deeply the wondrous scents of springtime, "ahhhhh! The wind feels so nice, it smells so sweet like a sakura mochi!" she pranced about happily skipping as the breeze slowly died down, "Don't be fooled Excel-kun..."

Excel turned to her master's stern voice, his hand clenched before him as if he were trying to crush the very wind itself, "This sweet smelling air is just a thin facade covering the foul stench of corrupt society... only under the dominion of ACROSS will the truth be revealed and all inherent depravity cleansed, rather than merely covered up with a thin bandage..." Ilpalazzo finished his great speech, his hand lowering to his side he stared at Excel as another breeze scattered his hair about, "Do you understand Excel-kun?"

Excel turned her back to him facing the lapping waters, "hmm... hmm..." an automatic hand went to her chin as she stood in thought. A few moments passed as Ilpalazzo waited his gaze shifted from her to the whole surroundings. It had been some time since he had used the above ground aqueduct exit, in fact it had been nearly a year since he had taken a walk out here, "Had it really been that long? Since then..." he thought silently...

"I got it!" Excel's sudden scream brought him from his thoughts, she ran from the edge of the bank, "I understand Ilpalazzo-sama! The wind smells sweet like a sakura mochi because the society needs to hide the stench of its own corruption, but when ACROSS conquers the world it will smell something like the inside of our headquarters! Which is kinda musty and dank, but would at least be better than the blissful ignorance of the ignorant masses!"

Ilpalazzo considered this a moment before continuing to walk down the bank, his footsteps clacking against the small pebbles, "Very good Excel-kun, you seem exceptionally alert today..."

"Hai Ilpalazzo-sama! Thank you for your kind words of praise!" they continued to walk further down the aqueduct, a large bridge just coming into view, "ah, Ilpalazzo-sama what are you doing?"

Ilpalazzo stared from Excel's confused expression to his own left hand, which continued to attempt to grasp something in the air. He sighed managing to force his hand back to his side, "It is nothing Excel-kun"

"ah..." she seemed contented with that answer, walking alongside her master as his most beloved servant amongst a bright sunny day sent a fresh wave of butterflies through her heart and surrounding organs, she felt like she was walking on air a renewed wave of extra energy flowing through her... "It's such nice weather today Ilpalazzo-sama, It's hard for Excel to remember a day so lovely as this, although my memory isn't the greatest I happen to forget many years at a time and don't happen to remember them..." she fidgeted about glancing occasionally at her master, then looking to the side on the occasion he would glance back. It was as they walked that the sound of the rocks below her feet seemed to become louder, the waves continued to lap against the rocky shore drawing Excel's attention to them. The young woman began to feel a certain uncertainty, "Ilpalazzo-sama I don't remember ever coming here"

Ilpalazzo stared down at her a slightly confused expression on his face, "It has been a year since this exit has been used, it just happened to be the most expedient above ground exit... Are you sure you don't remember it, Excel-kun?"

"oh... No, I don't..." Excel stared down at her feet, the clacking of her shoes against the rocks suddenly began to make her feel slightly ill, "Ilpalazzo-sama, could we go somewhere else? I suddenly don't feel so well... I don't think it's something I ate because I only got sick once from those noodles and since then I developed an immunity..." she ended with the thought, "even to the moldy shoe laces a little"

"very well..." Ilpalazzo stared around eventually resting on the metal rungs of a ladder, it ran up a good twenty feet straight up before the aqueduct began its gradual slope upward... "that ladder should do, it is probably the closest way out of this area for some time..." Excel merely nodded as they made their way toward the structure, her insides were squirming badly, every step she made against the rocks seemed to make her outlook more dismal.

Ilpalazzo was the first to mount the ladder, making his way up the first few rungs before turning. Excel was still staring at the ground, rocking back and forth slowly... "Excel-kun"

She glanced upward, her expression immediately brightening as she saw Ilpalazzo's outstretched hand beckoning her forward, "hiaku..." he stated calmly shaking his hand for emphasis... "Hai Ilpalazzo-sama!" she grasped his hand practically jumping up each rung, with each rise in elevation from the rocky surface below Excel felt better, with each step closer to Ilpalazzo she felt more safe... "Hail Ilpalazzo-sama! I feel much better now!"

Excel began a happy jig of happiness on the road above, "Excel-kun..." she stopped her little dance to meet his indifferent gaze, "hai Ilpalazzo-sama?"

"We are now amongst the ignorant masses, anyone amongst their ranks may foolishly wish to stop our plans..."

"Why those traitorous cowards!" she snarled thrusting her clenched fist into the air,

"Yes, anyway we are now within a land of potential enemies, it is crucial that we remain as inconspicuous as possible to avoid unnecessary confrontation... do you understand?"

Excel scratched her chin a moment, a thought vein pulsing in her forehead, "ah... umm... ano... could you be more specific, Ilpalazzo-sama?"

Ilpalazzo mentally struggled to hold back his hand from pulling the phantom rope, "It means that you cannot refer to me as Ilpalazzo-sama, as long as we remain amongst the masses you will call me Ramune-san... do you have a fake name you use?"

"ah! I understand... then I will be called Konbonobashi-san!"

Ilpalazzo considered this possibility for just a moment before he began rifling through his pockets. Excel watched as the two began walking down the road into the heart of F city, a few meters pass... "Put these on..." Excel felt a cool something thrust into her hands, she glances down to find a pair of lightly tinted sunglasses in her hands, she turned to Ilpalazzo in confusion, "I think that it will be safe to refer to you as Excel-kun as long as you wear those..."

"Hai Ilpalaz...eh..er..Ramune-san!" she corrected herself putting on the glasses, the light tint making the whole world look dimmer, almost as if she had become a different person inside, or at least would appear so on the outside... "Talking to Ilpalazzo-sama in this familiar way sounds so informal!" she mentally screamed, "I'm so happy!" she actually screamed...

Hyatt worked her way slowly up the flight of stairs to the apartment she and Excel shared. It hadn't taken her too long to traverse through the winding streets of the city, she had long since memorized the shortest routes to reach almost any part of the city. She slowly made her way to the apartment door stopping to rest on the railing, "ara, feeling faint... but must prevail for Excel-sempai" she pushed off from the railing straightening herself before placing her hand on the knob. Menchi heard the depressing peal of the door as it slowly swung open as a condemned criminal, wrongly accused, hears his cell door opened only to reveal a priest. Hyatt slowly edged into the apartment, "tadaima Menchi..." her voice sounding to the little dog much like the last rights. Sweet and lovable, but carrying with it the same hollow feel of emptiness and sorrow... "Au auu auu!" she pined tears streaming from her eyes as her lesser of the two evils tormentor stood in the doorway. Hyatt smiled at the puppy before gazing at a little clock that hung from the wall, "ara, it's later than I thought..." she hurried into the apartment as fast as her anemic body could carry her. Menchi rushed past her as quickly as she could, a heavy breeze had caught the door blowing it slowly closed... "Au!" Menchi pleaded to the door to remain open one moment longer, but alas the sliver of light was already waning, the route to freedom was sealing up before her eyes. With an enormous burst of speed Menchi shot forth...

Watanabe made his way slowly up the stairs stopping briefly to sigh over his horrid predicament, "Ayasugi-san where did that evil terrorist take you...?" he sighed again before making his way toward his door. As he passed the door of his closest neighbor he heard a loud thump, but decided to discount it, "those rowdy neighbors..." he grumbled angrily before stopping dead in his tracks... "those rowdy neighbors...?" he repeated softly turning on his heel.

"Menchi you shouldn't run into doors..." Hyatt heard the thump, rushing to the door to discover the poor animal laying before the door completely conked out. Hyatt sighed as she lifted the little dog from the ground, she made her way slowly to the futon... "Ayasugi-san! Ayasugi-san!"

The blue haired princess turned to the door, almost dropping Menchi as a peal of furious knocking followed the familiar voice, "I don't know what to do..." was all she could think as she placed Menchi on the soft futon... "I don't know what to do..." she repeated making her way to the door, "but I'll try anyway" she thought as her hand reached the knob...

"Ayasugi-sa..!" Watanabe moved back as the door pushed open slowly, his beloved Ayasugi-san poking her head through the opening, "ara, Watanabe-san what a pleasant surprise"

"Ayasugi-san..." he breathed momentarily entranced by her beauty, the sparkles surrounding her demure face. He shook his head, "Ayasugi-san Are you alright?! Where did you go after that terrorist kidnapped you?!"

Hyatt thought a moment, "terrorist...? kidnapping...? hmm, I'm sorry Watanabe-san I don't know what you are talking about..."

"eh...?" Watanabe gasped confused, "but, I could have sworn I saw you yesterday with a woman with orange hair..."

"Ah!" Hyatt gasped suddenly, "you must mean Hyatt, my evil twin sister, she pops up sometimes when that orange haired woman is around..."

"Oh, I understand Ayasugi-san! It is wonderful that you were never in any danger..." to this Hyatt just nodded displaying a bright smile, "Would it be alright if I were to come in... as a government employee it is my job to ensure the safety of the citizenry"

"ah, I'm still in uniform..." Hyatt thought cautiously pulling the door a little closer, "ano, I have to decline... I'm getting ready for a part time job... I only have a towel on..." she tactically pulled the door closed a little more. "Oh..." Watanabe responded a little disappointedly, "alright then, I guess I will see you later then..."

"Watanabe-san..."

The man turned to see Hyatt's bright smile, "Work hard today..."

"Oh!" Watanabe responded thrusting his arm into the air, "you too Ayasugi-san" he flashed a bright smile before walking to his door...

Hyatt felt a light blush creep up, a familiar dizziness come over her.. "ara, I don't... feel well..."

She hurriedly closed the door sliding to a sitting position against it, her vision began to swim badly, "Oh... must get ready for part... job.." she began to crawl across the soft carpeted floor. Extending her arms outward she slowly clawed her way forward inch by inch across the living room floor. Her hand just grazed the edge of her futon before the darkness finally claimed her vision, the blood pouring down her chin... "gomen, Excel-sempai... I can't..." her head collapsed against Menchi's soft fur... the dog awoke with a start at the cold weight. She ran around the room a few times in a state of utter terror before her eyes came upon the familiar sight of Hyatt lying dead, her head resting limply where she had once been resting... "Au...auuu... au.. auau..." she thought a moment her tail wagging in indecision... the clock tolled 1:40

Watanabe reached his apartment door with a light bounce in his step, his mind was apparently running through a slide reel of Hyatt in a towel... the towel slipping... not in a towel. His face was quite red as his hand grasped the knob... "It's time to go to work!" he heard the loud voice of Iwata inside, "huh...?"

As he questioned the door burst open knocking him to the side, "Yay! We get paid for doing nothing!" Ropponmatsu2 followed Iwata, Sumiyoshi, Ropponmatsu, and even Matsuya from his apartment, "Hey! What are you all doing in my apartment! Even you Matsuya?"

Everyone turned to see Watanabe grasping the railing for support as the other hand was plastered against his nose, a stream of blood running down his chin. "Ah! Watanabe how did you hurt your nose?"

"Do you really have to ask that!" Watanabe immediately pounced on Iwata beating him across the head... "Watanabe we have a job to do..."

Watanabe turned to see the words floating above Sumiyoshi's head, "What job?" he asked scratching his head, "We have to pick up a package for Kabapu" Matsuya replied stepping over Iwata as the group made their way to the stairs, "ah, and why are we doing this on a Saturday exactly?"

"Because he said he would give us a BIG bonus!" Iwata appeared next to Ropponmatsu, "ah, I see..." Watanabe nodded as they made their way down the street..

"Arigato Ramune-san!" Excel cried in happiness as a third plate of some appetizing morsel of food was brought to her. Ilpalazzo sat in a chair opposite her drinking a glass of water, they had found a small outdoor cafe some yards into the city. It consisted of a few rows of white tables, a few smaller tables for two people stood on the fringes of the larger four person variety. It was a nice setting, the warm sun, the cool breezes... Ilpalazzo spent a long time pondering their situation while his servant ate... his servant? No, perhaps more aptly called his partner now... or maybe... whichever was the case it confused him greatly. The order in which he had conducted himself and his relationship with his agents had just been broken, he now stood on the same level with them, ate at the same table with his first ever associate in the grand organization of ACROSS, these facts disturbed him, and yet... and yet when he brought himself to stare at his female companion he felt a strange contentment to be doing so. In a rare moment when Excel would take her time away from eating to glance up at him, he would always be sipping his water, a faint annotation of embarrassment surrounding him.

This cycle repeated itself for a few minutes until Excel finished the last of her plate, pushing it to the side with a satisfied sigh, "ahhhhh... I'm full"

In that instant a waiter appeared by her side, "Would you like something else to eat, miss?"

"Ah! Can I have a strawberry parfait"

"excellent choice..." the waiter bowed slightly before departing, it was indeed fortunate that the Japanese are said to have a second stomach for sweets. Excel sat impatiently awaiting her order, she nervously glanced about casting a furtive glance at Ilpalazzo whenever she thought he might not be looking... it was an experience she had wanted for the longest time, sitting here in this cafe with Ilpalazzo-sama on what could be described as a date of sorts... but now that she was actually experiencing it, the experience felt uncomfortable... a blush would creep up to her cheeks every time their eyes met now it seemed. Their proximity to each other, the lack of the distance between them she had taken for granted before as a constant made the whole thing seem unreal. That she was in a wondrous dream, her beloved Ilpalazzo-sama siting with her, telling how much he cared about her...

Ilpalazzo gazed at Excel as she fidgeted about continuously, "Are you alright, Excel-kun?"

"heh...?" Excel's gaze returned from some random location to her master's calculating stare, her voice caught in her throat for a moment. She shook her head quickly, "ah, I'm in perfect health Ramune-san! Excel always lives for the future caring for life as best she can! It's just..."

"It's just...?" Ilpalazzo repeated, this conversation partially peaking his curiosity, "It's just that Excel has never really been in a circumstance like this... on a date..." Ilpalazzo raised an eyebrow, Excel quickly realized her wording, "ah! That is not to mean that this is a date that we are on, unless you wanted it to be one then I would gladly join you in this being a date, but since it's not then my wording was incorrect in this just being a casual get together between working acquaintances! Please forgive me Ramune-san!" throughout her verbal recantation Excel was thoroughly engaged in a heavy amount of bowing that caused her glasses to slip more than a little from the bridge of her nose... Ilpalazzo cast a few furtive glances around, luckily the few customers that were assembled had paid them no heed...

"Excel-kun..."

"eh?" Excel grunted as Ilpalazzo took a much needed sip of his water. The Lord of ACROSS watched as his servant seemed to fidget about even worse, he was going to comment, but she spoke first, "I suddenly feel like saying something but I don't know what to say in this situation, I usually talk a lot when I can't think of something to say, so in these situations I usually say something completely inconsequential..." Excel continued to stare around furtively, her hands clenched against her knees, "ah... ah... Do you like dominoes Ramune-san!?" she finally managed to say through the thick haze of thought and tingly warmness.

Ilpalazzo sat back in his chair considering this a moment, "I don't like dominoes..." a moment passed in which Excel began wording a vast apology, "I have already conquered them..." Ilpalazzo ended with a flourish, a slight smug smile on his face...

"ah, I hated dominoes because I could never sit still long enough to do them and whenever I managed to do anything with them they would always fall over and I would get really frustrated heh heh...heh" a brief silence followed... "excuse me ma'm..."

Excel turned to the voice finding the waiter standing with a tray in his hands, "your parfait..."

"ah arigato waiter-san!" she squealed as the strawberry confection in a fancy glass was placed before her, she grabbed a spoon, "itadakimasu!"

Ilpalazzo watched as she began eating the dessert, it has often been said that the Japanese have a second stomach for sweets, perhaps that statement is accurate... one would think so, watching the young woman devour two large spoonfuls, "would there be anything I can get for you... Ramune-san I believe?"

Ilpalazzo turned from Excel to the eager waiter and then to his half empty cup, "perhaps a refill...?" the waiter suggested. Ilpalazzo considered this for a moment, he finally decided on the correct course of action in turning to the waiter, "Some would consider this half full..." he stated simply, propping his glasses firmly against the bridge of his nose.

"As you wish..." the waiter commented skulking off to some other needy group of customers, to which sadly there were few... "Ramune-san..."

As Ilpalazzo turned to Excel he instantly noticed her now disheveled condition. Her sunglasses had slid down her nose, ice cream had managed to smear its way across a good portion of her upper and lower lip, "Ramune-san this is really good! Are you sure you don't want some?"

Ilpalazzo waved a dismissive hand, "no... thank you for your offer... but no..." he finished his broken sentence with another sip of water. Excel shrugged, "Are you sure? It really is good the strawberries and the strawberry ice cream and the strawberry sauce and all the sugar that really makes you hyper and energetic and tastes really nice especially with strawberries that are sweet but in a different way and soft and nice and red..." she took an enormous bite stuffing a parfait laden spoon into her mouth, "awnd awll twah owther gwood stwuff tha rweally mwakes it gwood..." another spoonful... followed by another... "irk..." she managed to gasp...

"Excel..." Ilpalazzo stared coolly as the orange haired woman began gagging severely, her spoon clattering to the plastic table... "gehh can't gah brea..." she managed through an enormous amount of coughing, wheezing, groaning, and general choking... Ilpalazzo rushed to her remembering what the red eyes had said... "Why did he mention not doing anything that would result in her death...?" his mind whirled as he deftly brought his arms around Excel's slim abdomen, "I would never..."

Ilpalazzo clasped his hands together over her abdomen, with one incredible burst of strength he pushed against her...

Excel breathed heavily as she plopped back into her seat, "heh hehhh heh, thank you Ilpalazzo-sama hehh hehhh... "she managed inbetween grateful gulps of air... "It doesn't matter" Ilpalazzo responded as he too seated himself back down into his chair. Excel recovered a moment before picking up her spoon again, she still had a good half of her parfait left...

"wait, Excel-kun..."

"heh?" Excel looked up from her dessert, she instantly felt a wet something being pressed against her lips... "hehhhhh!" she emitted a high pitched squeal for just a second before the realization set in... Ilpalazzo was wiping a wet handkerchief across her mouth, she suddenly noticed the fine layer of ice cream that had accumulated there... "ah, arigato Ramune-san..."

She gazed at him a moment, feeling the warmth of his touch on her skin, "It doesn't matter..." he spoke softly to her as their gaze met each other, for the briefest of moments Excel saw a true smile appear on his face... "Ilpalazzo-sama..."

Ilpalazzo stopped what he was doing, pulling his handkerchief from her, satisfied that he had removed most of the ice cream, "You really should relax, Excel-kun" he stated casually dropping his gaze as he calmly returned his handkerchiefs to his pocket.

He heard it first, the clattering of the spoon against the plastic table. He looked up to see Excel in an obvious amount of distress, a hand was still in the air as if to hold the spoon, her whole body seemed to tremble as tears flowed down her cheeks, "Excel...?"

"IIIIEEEEE!" she suddenly screamed drawing the attention of everyone in the vicinity... she literally dove across the little table, knocking what remained on it to the ground. She grasped onto Ilpalazzo's shirtfront as the tears continued to fall freely from her. Ilpalazzo didn't know what to do in this situation, his mind buzzed with ideas mostly involving the rope, "Excel...what...?"

"PLEASE DON'T TELL ME TO RELAX ILPALAZZO-SAMA! EXCEL DOESN'T WANT TO DIE! PLEASE DON'T TELL HER TO RELAX!" she sobbed uncontrollably into his shirt, Ilpalazzo felt the hot dampness of her tears, her utter distress and fear laden voice... he stood, carrying her with him as he did. He managed to get her into a standing position, she remained latched onto him... she gasped as her knees buckled underneath causing her to collapse to the ground, Ilpalazzo could only watch as her body began to writhe in agony.

Excel felt a great pain surge through her, it felt as if her whole world were collapsing around her. Through the coming darkness that slowly began to eat away at her vision she could see Ilpalazzo standing over her, a strange look that she had never seen before... a look of uncertainty and fear. She could hear him calling her through the haze, her mind slowly began to shut down...

Ilpalazzo watched as Excel slowly raised her hand into the air. She could see it, a strange spot of light, she knew nothing of its purpose or why it was there... but she knew she had to reach for it... her hand clenched painfully her fingernails digging into the flesh, "Hail... Ilpala..." she gasped one final time as the darkness swallowed her completely, her hand falling limply to the ground...

Ilpalazzo stood momentarily in the stillness, his mind racing with the immensity of the scene that had just taken place. His flurry of thoughts were interrupted by the waiter who rushed to his side, "oh my god, I should call an ambulance right away..."

Ilpalazzo shook his head, "No, I will tend to her..." he responded gathering Excel's limp body into his arms, "but sir..." the waiter pleaded further, only to be met with Ilpalazzo's cold stare that meant so much to so many people... in this instance "Shut the hell up!" seemed the most apt description.

With that Ilpalazzo turned to leave, but then quickly turned to the disheveled table he and Excel had shared. He shifted Excel's weight to one arm as he rooted through his right pocket, after some maneuvering he managed to pull out his wallet. Ilpalazzo carelessly tossed two notes from the thick recesses of the thickly bound leather wallet onto the table before turning to leave once more. The waiter rushed to the table to be sure that what he paid was correct, he gasped audibly at the bills in his hands, two 10,000 yen notes, "sir this is much too much!" he called to Ilpalazzo as his figure slowly disappeared into the distance...

"ah! What was that old geezer's problem!" Iwata complained, his head wrapped heavily in gauze, a black eye clearly evident, "You got what you deserved..." Matsuya observed casually as the group made their way down a deserted street, "you shouldn't have propositioned his daughter"

"Hentai!" Ropponmatsu2 cheered happily, "I agree you deviated from the mission parameters" Ropponmatsu concurred, Iwata merely grumbled... "it hardly seems worth all this" he said holding up a small box wrapped in cloth. The sun was already beginning to set in the sky, deep pinks and oranges spread out a wider swath across the waning blues... it was very pretty, "I wonder what Kabapu could have wanted that was so important as to send us all the way to the city limits..." Watanabe wondered, a hand to his chin, "shame we didn't take a bus, or taxi..." Sumiyoshi wondered in his usual way equally as perplexed.

The little group continued their walk approaching a large hill, Iwata continued to complain like a child, Watanabe and Sumiyoshi continued to remain puzzled, Matsuya and Ropponmatsu remained stoic, and Ropponmatsu2 remained unnecessarily cheery...

Ilpalazzo was deep in thought as he crested the top of a hill, the streets were winding and rather unfamiliar too him. He noticed that, as he walked, Excel's warm weight began to feel more and more comfortable in his arms. Ilpalazzo kept one eye on the road ahead, and one eye plastered to her form most of the way, her slow rhythmic breathing comforted him in the knowledge that she was indeed still alive. Her heartbeat, slow and thready, both disturbed him, and in some ways perplexed him... "What is happening to Excel?" he thought, "In all of the time that I have known her I have never seen her lose energy... she always seemed so able, so full of life..."

He banished these thoughts away as his concentration drew him back to the task at hand. It wasn't so much that he was lost in that he had no idea exactly where he was... or indeed where he should go... although it was clear to him that he should take her back to the apartment she and Hyatt shared. The problem was, he was realizing, he had little clue as to where that was, he had never asked and they had never told him... but he was sure he would find it, he was Ilpalazzo after all... Lord of ACROSS the Secret Idealogical Organization seeking to conquer the city... he of all people should be able to find an apartment.

"Hey look at that guy! Is she alright?" Ropponmatsu2 was the first to point out the tall stranger, walking in the opposite direction in a calm and collected manner. "Is she OK?" Sumiyoshi tried his luck, but the man it seemed was choosing to ignore them, the City Defenders did nothing but watch as he passed by... "Hey do you need any help?!" Watanabe tried his hand, but alas they were forced to turn away, "I guess not..." he added hastily as he rejoined the ranks... "That was one strange guy..." Iwata added, "although the girl with him was really cute!" that remark of course resulted in the usual Matsuya knee to the groan...

"Although didn't she seem a little familiar..."

Everyone turned at Sumiyoshi's floating sentiment, "What do you mean?" Watanabe was the first to question, "well, she looks exactly like the woman from next door, and was dressed exactly like that woman from the other day..."

Iwata just waved it off from his position on the ground crying like a little child, "She was totally different... cough hacking cough... She was wearing sunglasses..."

The others seemed to agree with the irrefutable point of logic. Their collective minds at ease the group made their way slowly up the hill, and toward the great tower of Safety Assurance...

"In heinsight..." Ilpalazzo thought, "I probably should have asked them for directions..."

"maa..." Hyatt gasped opening her eyes to a beautiful field of flowers. A warm breeze blew past wafting the floral scents of some wondrous bouquet. She gazed up at the sun feeling its warm rays, all sense of weakness leaving her... "Come with us..."

A melodious ambient voice sprung from somewhere, a fluttering of wings, a few pure white feathers blowing in the wind, "Come with us, Hyatt..."

It seemed so peaceful, a serene smile adorned Hyatt's face as her gaze wondered about the paradise, "I want to..." she started, "but no"

A beating of furious wings followed, more feathers swirling about her amidst the leaves and rose petals, "Why not?" The voices sounded forlorn and dejected, Hyatt slowly remembered them, she had been here before... "I have a place to be, I have to get to our part time job or I'd be letting sempai down..."

This particular vision seemed longer than most, the voices around her collaborated into a kind of spiritual huddle, "but Hyatt..." they finally spoke, "Out there you so easily faint and die... what good are you to her there?"

The question was compelling, it touched into the vein of Hyatt's deepest fears, "Well...I... I am helpful... I'm just a little anemic..."

A peal of laughter greeted her efforts at proving her worth, "Come now Hyatt, only here with us can you really be happy..." a younger female voice chimed in, "yeah, only with the stream can you ever feel yourself again..."

Hyatt stared off from the fringes of this world into its very heart, a long winding stream that stretched from nowhere to the end of nothingness. It's clear flowing liquid a source for all power that existed there... "iie..." she stated simply, determinedly, "I won't abandon sempai, or Ilpalazzo-sama, if we are together I am sure we can succeed in our ambitions..."

This speech was met with another peal of laughter, Hyatt began to feel dizzy. He knees buckled under her as the world continued to spin about in a colorful blur... she felt faint... her eyes slowly opened to the world. She felt something warm and soft on top of her, she sat up revealing that thing to be a warm blanket from Excel's futon, "Au!" she heard the loud bark. Turning to find Menchi sitting a few feet away, her tail wagging in a kind of greeting, her face a clear indication of, "I scratched your back..." but as to whether Hyatt noticed this it is hard to say... "ara, Menchi your awake..." she stated sweetly before her eyes wandered to the clock. A hand shot to her mouth as she gasped in shock, "Oh, It's already 5:00, I am at least three hours late for work already... I have to hurry..."

She quickly extricated herself from the folds of the large blanket, rising, she moved as quickly as she could to the bureau in a far corner. She reached out for the phone just seconds from grasping the handle, "I should call the manager to tell him I am sorry that I am late... and apologize to Excel-sempai too..."

_**Bring! Bring! Bring! **_The phone emitted the high pitched ringing sound just seconds before her hand reached the black receiver. Hyatt paused a moment, retracting her hand in puzzlement before placing it solidly on the receiver. She lifted it slowly from the stand, the cord dangling ominously from it as she brought it to her ear, "hai, Hy-chan speaking..."

A flurry of angry obscenities and expletives met her ear in poorly pronounced Japanese, "hai, hai...haihai, I understand..." she responded through the phone, her whole outlook on the day dimming. A few more angry words involving incompetence and irrevocable sin later a sizable click on the other end nearly shattered Hyatt's eardrums. She slowly placed the receiver back on the stand sighing lightly, "I suppose we'll have to go find another job..." she sighed again before walking to the kitchen, "oh well, I suppose I should make dinner..."

As that thought entered into her mind a more important realization occurred, "If sempai didn't make it to work what happened to her?" the cold realization of plausible facts caused Hyatt's hand to freeze moments before grasping a pot from a low shelf. She instead dashed from the kitchen at highest speed, the equivalent of a low trot, arriving at the closet, "I have to go find her... she could be hurt"

Hyatt grabbed a heavy sweater from the closet, she quickly pulled it over her uniform, "It could get cold at night..." she thought as she was putting on her shoes. Menchi walked up to her as she sat a moment near the door, she saw how heavily Hyatt was breathing and was quite sure that the night wouldn't end well... and on the plus side if Excel really was in trouble that would mean one less mouth to potentially have to feed.

Hyatt felt the familiar trickle of blood run down her chin, her heart beating faster than normal through her hurried movements and worry... she knew she wasn't going to last to long out there. She turned her head at Menchi's bark to find the little dog's teeth clamped onto her sweater sleeve. She chuckled lightly at the scene through her weakened condition, "arigato Menchi, for worrying about me..." she managed to pull him easily from her sweater sleeve, lifting him from the ground she gazed up at him, some indiscernible emotion in the little dog's eyes.

Hyatt stood, placing Menchi safely back on the ground, she turned to the door, "You be good while I'm gone Menchi..." she stated through the little dog's frantic barking... "I have to go find sempai..." she walked to the door.

_**DingDong! DingDong! **_Hyatt's hand was mere inches away from the doorknob when the bell rang, she again retracted her hand slightly from the knob in puzzlement, staring at her hand in wonder. After a moment and a few more rings she screwed up her courage enough to open the door, grasping the handle she flung the door open into the waning light of the setting sun... "Hyatt-kun"

She heard the familiar voice even before her eyes adjusted to the light, "ah Ilpalazzo-sama, It's a pleasant surprise... I was just going to look for Excel-sempai, have you seen...?"

It was at that moment that her eyes focused well enough to see what it was her master was carrying in his arms, "oh..." she started before the full impact of the situation seemed to sink in. She gazed from Ilpalazzo to the prone, unconscious form of Excel that lay in his arms and back again, "This seems ironic..."

Kabapu stood, his hands clasped behind his back, staring out the window... staring at his beloved city, his face a mask of deep thought. "Kabapu-hakase they are here..."

The Head of the Safety Assurance agency nodded lightly to the intercom, "very well, send them in..."

At his acknowledgment the double doors leading to his office swung open. Though his gaze remained skyward he knew instantly the ones who had entered, "do you have the package I requested...?" he asked dryly...

"Yes..." came Matsuya's reply, "affirmative..."

"We got the package!"

"I for one want to know what the heck it is! It's just a little box..." Iwata grumbled further, all evidence of his prior beatings seemingly erased. Kabapu merely chuckled dryly, "very good, could you place it on my desk?"

"hai!" Ropponmatsu2 bounded forward dropping the small cloth wrapped box onto the table with a dull thud. Kabapu turned as the young robot walked back to the group, standing in a well ordered line. He evidently never found his original mustache for now an even more laughable concoction hung about his upper lip. The group struggled hard not to laugh at this latest venture, it was a well waxed slick black bit of hair much like a certain Agatha Christie character might possess... "I thank you for what you did in serving your city in this capacity..." Kabapu quickly placed the small box into an open drawer without a second glance at it, "I would like to apologize for my outbursts yesterday..." he began, turning away from them to face the cold glass once more... "they were horrendous degradations against you all and I am greatly ashamed by them..." his voice became low and somber.

The group looked from one to the other, Matsuya was the first to speak up, "It could be said that our actions were a little too harsh..."

"Not to mention Illegal, breaking numerous military and judiciary codes of..."

"Sorry!"

"We will do better next time..."

"I'm not sorry, I think he deserved it if it helped straighten him out some..."

Sumiyoshi quickly turned to Iwata, "It's not that we actually mean it, it is more that he feels better..."

"ah, I see... sorry then!"

After all the various apologies and explanations subsided, Matsuya was again first to speak, "Speaking of yesterday, did anything about the two terrorists strike you as memorable? That might lead to us discovering their whereabouts...?"

"What she means is do you know who they are?" Sumiyoshi added through his usual Kansai...

Kabapu paused a moment, his gaze unfocused taking in all the wondrous elements of his beloved city all in one heartwarming moment. He sighed, "I have been many things in my lifetime..." his voice trailed off into the hearts and minds of those in the room. He sighed again, "I cannot say that I can remember anything about them... no I do not recognize either..."

A silence followed that filled the City Defenders with an uncomfortable feeling, "You are dismissed..." everyone released a sigh of relief as they made their way from the oppressive silence, "wait, what about our reward...?" Sumiyoshi unfortunately worded this quiery just a tad bit too late as the double doors closed shut behind them...

Kabapu sighed heavily, "To think it has been three years since then..." his hands clenched into fists at his sides as the memories of a past life careened through his subconscious mind, "how can that be you? How can you still be alive... Excel..."

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Chapter Three: The Excel We Know... end

Well this one turned out long... but I feel in my heart and in my head that every aspect of it, in some way, contributed to the whole and part of what is to come in this wondrous work of fan made literature.... thank you, and I hope to hear a loud uproarious review from anyone who reads it, even if that review is a screaming flame that seeks my destruction, though I disdain those, I would welcome them...

But being serious for a moment, a review often says more about the individual who writes it than what he/she is actually reviewing.

Next Up! Chapter Four: Break


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